Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)
Exorcising Jennie (1997)
Kevin Connolly: Ryan Malloy
Quotes
-
Tiffany Malloy : [Ryan enters the library with a brown paper bag wafting eerily behind him] Ryan, what are you doing?
Ryan Malloy : Mom brought me my lunch. She wanted to come haunt us in school. She's more fun than a barrel of dead monkeys!
Muffy : [can't figure this out] How do you do that?
Ryan Malloy : Well, actually, us magicians do not like to tell, but... I got a dead mother! She's a ghost.
Jennie Malloy : [appears] Ta-dah!
[but can only be seen by her children]
Muffy : How come I can't see her?
Ryan Malloy : Well, nobody saw that Ted Danson show either. Doesn't mean it didn't exist.
Tiffany Malloy : [to her mother] Will you please stop touching my hair? How would you like it if I did that to your hair?
Muffy : You're lucky. I'd much rather have a dead mother touching me than my live uncle.
Jennie Malloy : [to Tiffany] Oh, come on! Lighten up! Have some fun too! Well, you don't have that many years left. I looked in the Big Book.
Tiffany Malloy : I'm dying soon?
[voice catching]
Jennie Malloy : No, I'm kidding!
[laughs]
Jennie Malloy : Oh, it's just the scamp in me! I'm kinda like a cross between Casper and Della Reese. Now, if you'll excuse me, I sold all the clothes from the football team, and practice is *just* about over. Time for my own little *hot butt contest!*
Ryan Malloy : Oh, that Mom! I haven't had this much fun with a dead person since the time we put that hamster in Grandma's coffin!
Tiffany Malloy : [remembers happily] Whoo-hoo!
-
Father Guido Sarducci : [to the sham exorcist] Look, we paid you twenty-five bucks. Now let's see some action!
Mr. Floppy : Okay. Repeat after me. Evil-a spirit, please, leave-a this house!
Father Guido Sarducci , Ryan Malloy , Tiffany Malloy , Jack Malloy : Evil-a spirit, please-a leave-a this house!
Mr. Floppy : Very good!
Father Guido Sarducci , Ryan Malloy , Tiffany Malloy , Jack Malloy : Thank-a you very much!
Jennie Malloy : [appears] Evil-a spirit? Is that what you think of me? Well, I'm not one to hang around some place I'm not *wanted!*
Father Guido Sarducci : Then how do you explain our marriage?
Jennie Malloy : Fine! You won't have Dead *Mom* to kick around anymore!
[heads for front door]
Jennie Malloy : If you change your minds, I will be backstage at the Calvin Klein's menswear show!
[leaves in a huff, is heard singing:]
Jennie Malloy : Swing low...