- Ross Malloy: [birthday boy] What's this?
- Jennie Malloy: It's a stupid crayon heart, like you give me every birthday. Certainly exposes the myth of what joy a homemade gift can bring you, huh? Honey, if you want something decent, just do what I did! Go buy it for yourself with Daddy's... money!
- Tiffany Malloy: [unimpressed by glass table Jennie gave herself] You dragged us out of bed for this? I was having the best dream. It was a little sexual, but I guess I can tell you. I was lying in a bathtub, filled with money. Then I was in a dark tunnel, filled with money. And then on a thundering train, filled with money. Then a snake popped out of a tree, and gave me money. The best part is not only was I rich, but the rest of the world was poor.
- [chuckles merrily]
- Jennie Malloy: How big was the snake?
- Pony Burger Attendent: [over microphone stuck in fake horse head] Welcome to Pony Burger. No part of the horse unused.
- Jack Malloy: [from car] Man, your life must really suck.
- Pony Burger Attendent: At least I don't eat here.