Geoff Pierson: Jack Malloy

Quotes 

• Ross Malloy : [arriving home]  Hi, Mom and Dad.

  Jennie Malloy : Oh, Ross, honey, come here, I want you to help us settle something.

  [they sit down on the couch] 

  Jennie Malloy : Now, where would you rather go? To beautiful Hawaii,

  [mimicking gentle waves] 

  Jennie Malloy : or to the stultifying heat of the barren desert that is Vegas?

  Ross Malloy : [worldly-wise]  Well, Hawaii has got the sunshine, but Vegas has the action.

  [smiling] 

  Ross Malloy : And the chicken ranch.

  Jack Malloy : [sitting down next to him on the couch, concerned]  What do you know about the chicken ranch?

  Ross Malloy : [innocently]  I guess you can have the chicken you want, any way you want it.

  Jack Malloy : Yup. That about covers it, son.

  [returning to the Hawaii/Vegas debate] 

  Jack Malloy : And Vegas has those sumptuous buffets.

  Jennie Malloy : [playing trump card]  Hawaii has girls in bikinis.

  Jack Malloy : Yeah, but no sumptuous buffets.

  Ross Malloy : They both sound great. When are we going?

  Jack Malloy : Oh, you're not going.

• Mr. Floppy : [in the midst of his Hawaiian fantasy, being cuddled by two dream-girls]  Drew Barrymore, if you're watching, this is only a fantasy, you're still my one true love. But until you call, I can live with this.

  [joyous laughter] 

  Jack Malloy : [passing behind them]  Hey, will you look at this, all this seafood, and for only $89-95c.

  [it's a mountainous heap] 

  Mr. Floppy : Ahh. I'm suddenly sleepy. Pillow for my head please?

  [he gets to rest his weary head on the side of Donna D'Errico's bosom - in real life, he is grunting with pleasure as he lies there on the couch with Jack] 

  Jack Malloy : Floppy! Floppy, snap out of it!

  Mr. Floppy : Huh?

  [impatiently:] 

  Mr. Floppy : What do you want?

  Jack Malloy : Look, when I said we were going to Hawaii, I didn't mean that it was... Well, I meant... Well, I'm talking about me and Jennie going.

  Mr. Floppy : [impatiently]  What you talking about, Willis?

  Jack Malloy : [rises]  I can't take a stuffed bunny on vacation with me.

  Mr. Floppy : [hurt]  I brought you on my fantasy.

  Jack Malloy : Did I have fish? I love fish.

  Mr. Floppy : You had a delightful seafood platter. I chose the melons.