Dawn Landon: J.J.

Quotes 

• Amber Moss : [trio of girls across the cafeteria watching them]  God, look at them! All they do, is look at us! Look at them!

  Tiffany Malloy : [gets hit by a spiteful blowpipe shot from Patty the ringleader]  Ow! What a pest! She's so 50-50 poly-cotton, I'm just gonna ignore her.

  Amber Moss : Like bums on a street corner, she should be ignored.

  Tiffany Malloy : Right. It would be silly to lose my temper over a little thing like a straw.

  [Ryan sneaks up, plays the same trick on her] 

  Tiffany Malloy : You idiot! I should rip your head off where you stand!

  Ryan Malloy : Hey, sorry!

  [pulls out chair to sit down next to his sister, and the trio laughs tauntingly at them] 

  Tiffany Malloy : She never stops! What am I gonna do?

  [turns to her brother] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Ryan, you're a slimy little coward, how do you handle the bullies in this school?

  Ryan Malloy : Hey, nobody ever messes with me around here.

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, what do you do?

  Ryan Malloy : I'm under the protection of the lesbians.

  [demonstrates, scooting his chair towards some tough-looking chicks] 

  Ryan Malloy : Hey, J.J., how you doing?

  J.J. : [guyishly dressed, and in manners as well]  How you doing, Malloy?

  Ryan Malloy : Looking good, J.J. k.d. lang forever.

  J.J. : Forever.

  Tiffany Malloy : [as he scoots his chair back]  Why do they protect you?

  [skeptical, it's Ryan after all] 

  Tiffany Malloy : What do you do for them?

  Ryan Malloy : Oh, nothing much. I pick them up at their houses on Saturday nights, so their parents think they have a boyfriend. When their fathers tell me not to touch their daughters, I go down on my knees and swear that I won't, and I don't.

  [adding confidentially, grinning:] 

  Ryan Malloy : Sometimes they let me watch.

  Tiffany Malloy : Yours is a weird little life.