Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Pilot (2003)

Kristin Bauer: Laura

Photos 

Quotes 

• Laura : You are a bad, bad boy!

  Charlie : And yet, you're always the one getting spanked!

• Girl on phone : [Charlie's home phone rings and redirects to voicemail]  Listen, you lousy SOB! I will not be treated like this! Either you call me, or you're going to be very, very sorry! I love you, monkey man!

  Laura : Charlie, who was that?

  Charlie : Damn telemarketers!

  Laura : A telemarketer who calls you "monkey man"?

  Charlie : I'm on some weird list!

• [first lines] 

  Laura : [picks up a black dress]  So, what do you think?

  Charlie : Wow. It's for you, right?

  Laura : It's for both of us. Don't go away.

  [proceeds to Charlie's bathroom to change into the dress] 

  Charlie : Don't worry. There's not enough blood left in my legs to go anywhere.