David Letterman: Self

Quotes 

• David Letterman : Here's something you can do, if you get bored on a flight - like, a three-, four-hour flight - here's something you can do to always amuse yourself. Wait 'til the person in the seat next to you falls asleep - it's a lot of fun. Then what you do, you reach over, get their attention - maybe get them around the throat, give 'em one of these. And then you say something like, "Well, I guess we're gonna find out now if these seat cushions really do float, huh?"

• David Letterman : I was on a show two weeks ago - the, uh, the Battle of the Network Stars, you know?

  Johnny Carson : That's right.

  David Letterman : That's a silly show, you know. To me, it's... I don't care, you know. So what if Debby Boone can do more push-ups than I can?

• David Letterman : The kind of thing I'll always remember, as long as I live, growin' up in Indiana is when Dad used to tease me with the power tools.