Christopher Titus: Christopher Titus

Quotes 

• Christopher Titus : Dad, you're safe here, you're among friends, okay? I just want you to know that I give you my - my love and my forgiveness.

  Ken Titus : Great. I'll put that in my tool shed with all the other crap I don't use.

• [Dave is bawling his eyes out] 

  Dave Titus : [through tears]  I... don't know what you... want from... me!

  Christopher Titus : I want you to tell me what you want.

  Dave Titus : But I told you... What I want. I... Wanna... Get bitten by a radioactive spider and get super powers!

• Jerry October : HO-FO-DO-MO!

  Christopher Titus : Oh-my-God-no!

• Christopher Titus : Everyone should think for themselves. I learned that in a book I bought called "Everyone Should Think for Themselves".

• Ken Titus : Hey! Don't you ever call me again and tell me that you love me and you forgive me!

  Christopher Titus : Hi, dad.

  Ken Titus : I would rather a highway patrol officer show up on my doorstep with your head in a bag!

• [first lines] 

  Christopher Titus : Get off your ass and do something. Spread your wings and fly. Or, make your friend fly. And, I don't mean, help your friend fly. I mean, force that chubby little non-aerodynamic bastard to freakin fly.

• [last lines] 

  Christopher Titus : Get off your ass and do something. All you need is the right inspiration. Anger has fueled me my entire life. It makes me feel good and... I'm okay with that. My fear is that my anger will one day make me so damned successful that I'll actually be happy. And then I'll just stop.

  Christopher Titus : [looks at poster]  You know what ? I'm good for a while.

• Christopher Titus : So what if your custom car shop tanks and you've gotta take a crappy job at an auto parts store, dealing with ignorant, pushy people. I'm okay with that, 'cause I'm an "ignorant, pushy people" person.