Titus (TV Series)
Intervention (2000)
David Shatraw: Tommy Shafter
Quotes
-
Tommy Shafter : Why did you tell him?
Erin Fitzpatrick : I...
Ken Titus : She didn't! I heard her tell her mom on the phone.
Tommy Shafter : You told your mother! Oh, my God. What does she think of me?
Christopher Titus : Worry about what I think of you!
-
[Ken reveals that Tommy had a dream about Titus, in which Titus was naked]
Tommy Shafter : The nudity, it wasn't gratuitous, it was integral to the plot of the dream!
Christopher Titus : [disgusted] There was a plot?
Tommy Shafter : You were a pirate.
[Titus moans in disgust]
-
Tommy Shafter : But, we do have a gift for you: the gift of love.
Ken Titus : Well, I hope you kept the receipt.
-
[Ken has revealed that Titus borrowed money from the business account]
Tommy Shafter : Oh, my God. I was up all week preparing those tax returns.
Ken Titus : Isn't tax fraud a felony?
[Tommy begins wheezing]
-
[Christopher wants Ken to start drinking again]
Ken Titus : Hey, I can start drinking any time I want.
Christopher Titus : Then go ahead. Drink it.
[Christopher crouches down next to Ken]
Christopher Titus : Wussy.
Erin Fitzpatrick , Tommy Shafter , Dave Scouvel , Ridge : Whoa!
[Erin, Dave, Tommy, and Ridge all take cover]
Ken Titus : Wussy?
Christopher Titus : [standing tough, but then his voice breaks] You heard me.
-
Christopher Titus : Tommy, you don't cater an intervention. We have to get dad to face his problem with alcohol. What we need here is love, strength, understanding...
Dave Scouvel : A stun gun.
Tommy Shafter : [holding up a taser] Everyone, next to the shrimp puffs.
[crackles taser]
-
Christopher Titus : Get these out of here.
Tommy Shafter : This is the way I deal with stress, okay? I'm not on board with this, but if we're going to do this, we might as well have finger foods!