Titus (TV Series)
Dave Moves Out (2000)
Stacy Keach: Ken Titus
Photos
Quotes
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Christopher Titus : All he does is mess with people's minds.
Ken Titus : You're right. I do.
Christopher Titus : See, you're doing it right now!
Ken Titus : No, I'm not.
Christopher Titus : Yes, you are.
Ken Titus : All right, I am.
Christopher Titus : Stop it!
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Christopher Titus : Oh, I cannot believe Dave. What did he do this time?
Steve : Grand theft.
Christopher Titus : Grand theft? That's a real crime.
Steve : [with heavy sarcasm] And this is a *real* police station.
Ken Titus : And your brother is a real criminal.
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[Chris nonverbally communicates to Erin that Ken had him and Dave thrown in jail]
Ken Titus : He's lying.
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Ken Titus : All right! All right! You can move back in. But it's going to cost you a hundred bucks a month.
Dave Titus : Fine! Fine! But I want my room painted!
Ken Titus : Agreed. You buy the paint and you paint it.
Dave Titus : You watch me!
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Officer Charlie Regan : Excuse me, Mr. Titus. Are you sure this is your VCR?
Ken Titus : Damn straight!
Officer Charlie Regan : We found half an ounce of marijuana in it.
Dave Titus : Yeah, that's his piece of crap VCR. But the pot is mine!
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Ken Titus : Does the perpetrator have any recognizable scars?
Christopher Titus : Only emotional.
Ken Titus : There's no box for that. I'll just check "Other".
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Tommy Shafter : Mr. Titus, I think having Christopher arrested is acting out in a way that's just plain unhealthy.
Ken Titus : I disagree. I had a headache before, but now it's gone.
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[Titus is "translating" what dysfunctional people mean]
Christopher Titus : [Ken approaches Dave and snaps his fingers] "May I have the remote?"
[Dave scoffs]
Christopher Titus : "*I* am currently using the remote."
Ken Titus : It's ironic you're watching synchronized swimming when your girlfriend drowned last month.
[Dave whimpers, then runs off in tears]
Ken Titus : [takes the remote, sits down, and changes the channel] All right. Go Niners!
Christopher Titus : "Next time, just give me the remote."