The Thick of It (TV Series)

Episode #2.2 (2005)

James Smith: Glenn Cullen

Quotes 

• Hugh Abbot : [arguing about Hugh remaining in the dark on the 8:30's situation]  Why didn't you tell me, Glenn? What possible reason did you have? You saw me, I was swinging like a colostomy bag!

  Glenn Cullen : Oh, Hugh, grow up! Stuff happens in this department every day, I can't tell you everything!

  Hugh Abbot : Since when, Glenn, since when does the Secretary of State for Social Affairs have to find out from the fucking press that every morning at 8:30 I'm being fisted up the gallbladder by a bald man?

• Malcolm Tucker : Alright, guys, thanks very much for staying on. Julius Nicholson, right? Blue-sky thinker? Ex-business guru? Dog rapist? He's being a nuisance to me, he's also got plans of squizzing your department so hard, you'll be lucky to be left with one bollock between the three of you. So all I'm doing here is asking you, formally, if you will join me in a little bit of a circle jerk?

  Hugh Abbot : Circle jerk?

  Oliver Reeder : Alot of guys in a circle, all, you know... Well, I assume you don't mean literally, do you? Presumably?

  Malcolm Tucker : [to Glenn]  Tony Mack in the Lobby, you know him, right? Call him, now. Tell him that you're getting that Nicholson is gonna get Foreign Sec in the reshuffle.

  Glenn Cullen : [on the phone]  Tony! Hi! How's it dangling, yeah? Listen, I just want to run something past you. I wonder if you're hearing what, you know, I've been hearing, that Nicholson's gonna be getting Foreign Sec.

  Malcolm Tucker : Hugh, who is your top mate in the commenteria?

  Hugh Abbot : Colin Sykes.

  Malcolm Tucker : Colin Sykes? That's your top mate? Call him up!

  Hugh Abbot : [on the phone]  Hi, Colin! It's Hugh Abbot speaking, how are you? Got a decent back hand yet? Hugh, Hugh Abbot, we played tennis together. Yeah, yeah!

  Glenn Cullen : [on the phone]  I know it's probably bollocks, but that's what we all thought when Jim was up for Home Secretary. Next thing we know, he's given up the Colombian marching powder and taken up the sacraments.

  Hugh Abbot : [on the phone]  Foreign Secretary is exactly where he should be, he's a smart guy. I think at one point I called him a dog rapist.

  [Tucker's phone rings] 

  Malcolm Tucker : [on the phone]  Cath! I don't know where it's come from, I've been getting it as well! Stonewall them, ok? I'll talk to the boss!

  [hangs up] 

  Malcolm Tucker : And now I'm gonna phone the Prime Minister of Great Britain.

  [on the phone] 

  Malcolm Tucker : Allright, boss? Yeah, look, I'm really sorry to interrupt you, but we're getting hit on the blind side here! Stuff about Julius Nicholson? Cath's and I phones are both white hot. Stuff about him becoming Foreign Sec! Am I out of the loop here? Well, person that's most likely to be getting his mates to put this kind of stuff around is Julius Nicholson. You put so much hope in them, they always let you down. I think maybe Julius needs to have his wings clipped a wee bit, you know. Do you wanna do it? I think you're right, I think it's better if I just had a little chat. I'll see you in the morning. Night.

  [hangs up] 

  Malcolm Tucker : Fucking brilliant! Eight missed messages! Sleep lightly.