- Leo: So, things went well with my probation officer. He even wants to see me for some additional years. He's a great guy, man.
- [Leo hires Fez]
- Leo: Alright, you're hired. But you're on probation. No, wait, *I'm* on probation. I've gotta go see my probation officer, man!
- [about Fez]
- Leo: I don't like what's going on here, man. That little dude's making us all look bad. I'm afraid the boss is gonna fire me.
- Steven Hyde: Leo, you *are* the boss!
- Michael Kelso: Look, man. Breaking up sucks, okay? When Jackie dumped me, you know what she said? "Something, something... Never want to see you again... Blah, blah, blah..." Hey, you think that didn't hurt?
- [Red feels Eric should talk to the girl that just asked him to dance]
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Go talk to that girl before she comes to her senses and wants nothing to do with you.
- Eric Forman: It's not like being friends with Hyde. I haven't touched *his* fun parts. Well, on purpose.
- [first lines]
- Donna Pinciotti: Hey, Mrs. Forman. My dad's making a cheese sandwich, but he's missing some stuff. So, can I borrow bread and cheese?
- [Fez needs money to buy new shoes]
- Leo: Just do what I do and steal money from the register when the boss ain't looking.
- Steven Hyde: Again, Leo, you *are* the boss!
- Leo: And I'm not looking!
- [Hyde takes some money from the register and gives it to Fez]
- Kitty Forman: [sympathetic] Oh, your dad's havin' a hard time without your mom, isn't he?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [looks sideways from his paper] Midge was the brains of that outfit?
- [cackles]
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, Donna.
- Eric Forman: [opens the door to the kitchen, enters] Sorry about what?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: You, uh, get Donna bread and cheese.
- Eric Forman: [confused] Okay.
- Donna Pinciotti: [strokes the dress Kitty is ironing] Oh, this is a really nice dress.
- Kitty Forman: I know! Isn't it fancy?
- [laughs]
- Kitty Forman: It's for the Pricemart Ball tomorrow night.
- Eric Forman: Oh, right. The Pricemart Ball.
- Kitty Forman: [to Eric] So, who are you takin'? Who's the lucky lady?
- Eric Forman: Well, I decided not to go. Personal choice.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [not looking up from paper] You don't have a date, do ya?
- Eric Forman: Okay. You know what? It's not about "can I get a date". It's about this great book that I'm, like, halfway through. Plus, you know, I could get a date.
- [Red laughs]
- Eric Forman: I got numbers, buddy!
- Kitty Forman: Sure you do, Honey! You're Number One with me!
- [laughs hysterically]
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [looking up from paper] You're goin' tomorrow night. And you'd better not go stag, Eric. There's nothing worse than an 80-pound boy dancing with his mommy all night.
- [Eric slightly rolls his eyes]
- Donna Pinciotti: You know what?
- [clears throat and takes Eric's arm to turn him toward her]
- Donna Pinciotti: I'll go. I told you I would, like, months ago.
- Eric Forman: But, that was before the... ugliness.
- Donna Pinciotti: [ever-so-slightly dramatic] Eric, I'm over it.
- [voice of realization]
- Donna Pinciotti: Hey, I'm over it! Oh! I'm... I'm over it!
- [Eric's eyes dart to and fro]
- Donna Pinciotti: Plus, I mean, last year, they had all-you-can-eat shrimp.
- Eric Forman: Well, I mean...
- [snorts]
- Eric Forman: You know, I'm over it. Hey! I'm over it! Yeah, I'm over it. I was just worried that you might think it was weird, us going out on a date. So, I mean, you know, the... the concern lay with you.
- Donna Pinciotti: [amused] Eric, it's not a date!
- Eric Forman: It's not. I know. I know it's not a date. It's not a date. It's a... shrimp fest. It's a festival of shrimp, if you will.
- Donna Pinciotti: [nods, laughing] Exactly!
- Eric Forman: Oh.
- Donna Pinciotti: [still amused] I'll see you tomorrow night.
- Eric Forman: Okay.
- [Donna leaves the kitchen]
- Kitty Forman: See, now, look. My little prince is going to the ball.
- Bob Pinciotti: [Bob defends himself as he tries to explain why his wife left him] Hey, I've got an upside. There are things...
- Joanne Stupac: I know. You're a good guy. A good, old-fashioned, out-of-touch, Stone-Age guy. But, you know, there's nothing wrong with you that changing yourself completely couldn't fix.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Oh, God! Your mother's doing shots with Gladys from housewares! Kitty, put that down!
- Donna Pinciotti: Eric, what the hell! Why are you kissing her? We're on a *date*!
- Eric Forman: It *isn't* a date!
- Donna Pinciotti: It is now, you bastard! Now go open my door before I kick your ass!