- Kitty Forman: Will Michael's parents be home?
- Eric Forman: Yes.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Are they as dumb as he is?
- Eric Forman: I can't lie. Yes. Yes, they are.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Right answer. That was a trick question. I know they're dumb.
- [Kelso tells the guys how he was making out with Pam Macy in the school orchestra room]
- Michael Kelso: You know the really, really bad thing that can happen to guys when they're with girls?
- Fez: Oh, did Mr. Cooper come in to buff the floor?
- Michael Kelso: No.
- [pauses]
- Michael Kelso: Okay, let me put it this way: the buffer wouldn't buff.
- Fez: Poor Mr. Cooper.
- Steven Hyde: No, Fez. I think what he's trying to say is the rabbit wouldn't come out of the hat.
- Eric Forman: The weasel wouldn't pop.
- Steven Hyde: The alphabet soup never spelled "go".
- Eric Forman: There were a lot of Amish people, but they couldn't raise the barn.
- Steven Hyde: Nice one, Forman!
- Eric Forman: It just came to me.
- [Bob and Midge storm into the hotel room where they thought Donna and Eric would be, but find Kitty and Red]
- Midge Pinciotti: Oh, Kitty! What a pretty nightgown!
- Kitty Forman: Thank you, Midge.
- [pauses]
- Kitty Forman: Could you hand it to me, please?
- Donna Pinciotti: We're spending the weekend at a hotel.
- Steven Hyde: What, car sex isn't good enough anymore?
- Fez: I would love car sex...
- [pauses]
- Fez: Or, just sex...
- [pauses]
- Fez: Or, just a car.
- [Pam Macy is driving her car, Kelso is sitting next to her. Kelso is embarrassed and Pam has a sour expression on her face because Kelso was unable to "perform"]
- Michael Kelso: Look, Pam, I'm really sorry about what happened. Again. I must have the flu or something.
- Pam Macy: Well, it's not like any flu *I've* ever heard of.
- Michael Kelso: [angrily] Well, there's lots of kinds of flu, Pam!
- [pause]
- Michael Kelso: I'm sorry.
- Pam Macy: [teasing] Oh, well, don't take it so *hard*. Oops! Sorry.
- Michael Kelso: Look, just don't tell anybody, okay?
- Pam Macy: [smiles nastily] Oh, Flopsy, I'm not gonna tell *anybody*. I'm gonna tell *everybody*!
- [Kelso is worried to hear that]