That '70s Show (TV Series)

Ramble On (2002)

Wilmer Valderrama: Fez

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nina : According to your resume, you were dancer #3 in the school production of "My Fair Lady".

  Fez : Yes. It was magical. I could've danced all night.

  Nina : I don't think your theater experience applies here.

  Fez : Well, Nina, what is the DMV, really, if not one big stage?

  Nina : The DMV is the Department of Motor Vehicles.

  Fez : Yes, but they're very similar.

  Nina : No, they're not.

  Fez : Yes, they are.

  Nina : No, they're not!

  Fez : Yes, they are.

  Nina : No, they're *not*!

  Fez : Okay... They are.

  Nina : No! They're *not*! I'm going to put down "no prior experience".

  Fez : You didn't ask about my special skills.

  Nina : I don't see how a fondness for pie is relevant.

  Fez : But, Nina, what is the DMV, really, if not one big pie shop?

• Fez : What you didn't read was how much I'd apply myself to the job here.

  Nina : I'm going to have to ask you to stop making puns, now.

  Nina : I don't think it's going to work out.

  [shakes Fez's hand] 

  Nina : That is a gorgeous man-ring! You know, wearing something like this shows a lot of confidence.

  Fez : Well, I *do* feel like a king when I wear it, and what is the DMV, really, if not one big kingdom?

• Eric Forman : I can't believe you took my ring!

  Fez : Yes, I took it! I took it and I'm proud! You have a girlfriend, you have a ring, I have nothing!

  Eric Forman : Well, you have a job.

  Fez : Yes, that's true. Good for me!

• Eric Forman : [looking at the man-ring]  My girlfriend has bad taste.

  Fez : Well, she *is* dating you.

  Eric Forman : What was she thinking?

  Steven Hyde : Forman, you got to expect this, man. I mean, look at her dad. The apple doesn't fall far from the Bob.

• [Kelso's superhero fantasy] 

  Michael Kelso : [as Batman]  Okay, Super Pals, I'm gonna need a status report.

  Steven Hyde : [as a Wonder Twin, stops making out with Wonder Twin Jackie]  My sensors indicate peace and quiet throughout the universe.

  Fez : [as Aquaman]  The oceans are secure, but I can't check for another 45 minutes because I just ate.

  Eric Forman : [as Superman, entering with Donna as Wonder Woman]  Hey, guys!

  Michael Kelso : Oh, no! You've been brainwashed and forced to wear this hideous ring!

  Donna Pinciotti : Actually, its a gift.

  Steven Hyde : Worst form of gift ever!

  [holds his fist out to the side] 

  Jackie Burkhart : [as the other Wonder Twin]  Shape up!

  [to Wonder Twin Hyde] 

  Jackie Burkhart : I hope he kept the receipt.

  Eric Forman : Alien zombies are attacking the Earth! Let's swing into action, gang!

  Michael Kelso : Hold it, we're still on this ring.

  Steven Hyde : Are you sure it's not an alien artifact?

  Donna Pinciotti : I got it at the mall!

  Reginald "Red" Forman : [Red appears on the video monitor]  Greetings, dumbasses!

  Eric Forman : Uh-oh! It's Dr. Bald!

  Reginald "Red" Forman : My army of alien zombies is invading! Good Lord, that is an *ugly* ring! Alien zombies, get a load of that ring!

  Eric Forman : That's it! This thing's coming off!

  Steven Hyde : Careful, man! You drop something that big and heavy, it'll throw off the Earth's rotation! We'll all go crashing into the sun!

  Michael Kelso : Yeah! Way to use science in a burn!