That '70s Show (TV Series)
Ramble On (2002)
Ashton Kutcher: Michael Kelso
Photos
Quotes
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[to Eric]
Michael Kelso : Man, that is one big, bad-ass ring. Hey, maybe people will think that you won the Super Bowl!
Steven Hyde : Nah, nobody will believe that. But he *could* be the sick little boy that the whole team rallies around.
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Eric Forman : How can I lose a 25-pound ring?
Michael Kelso : I once lost a six-foot, rubber chili dog. I still haven't found it, it's just gone!
Eric Forman : Hyde, this is all your fault! You told Jackie I didn't like the ring!
Michael Kelso : Hyde stabbed you in the back? No, he wouldn't do a thing like that. Like he didn't steal Jackie from me. Oh, wait a minute!
Steven Hyde : [to Eric] Look, man. I told her not to tell.
Eric Forman : And I told *you* not to tell!
Michael Kelso : [to Hyde] You and Jackie are gossiping now. The more you go out, the more like each other you become!
Eric Forman : Who knows what you and your little girlfriend are going to be up to in a couple of months!
Jackie Burkhart : [fantasy cheerleader sequence] 2,4,6,8! Who do we appreciate? Go, team!
Steven Hyde : 2,4,6,8! Who do we appreciate? Go, team! Jackie, I heard the best piece of gossip! Eric Forman doesn't have any school spirit!
Jackie Burkhart : I'm telling *everyone*!
Steven Hyde : Too late! I already did!
[fantasy sequence ends]
Steven Hyde : First of all, Jackie's not my girlfriend, and second of all, I'm not the only one who spills stuff around here.
Eric Forman : You're right. Hey, Kelso! Hyde watches "Little House on the Prairie"!
Michael Kelso : [laughing] "Little House on the Prairie"?
Steven Hyde : It reminds me of a simpler time.
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[Kelso's superhero fantasy]
Michael Kelso : [as Batman] Okay, Super Pals, I'm gonna need a status report.
Steven Hyde : [as a Wonder Twin, stops making out with Wonder Twin Jackie] My sensors indicate peace and quiet throughout the universe.
Fez : [as Aquaman] The oceans are secure, but I can't check for another 45 minutes because I just ate.
Eric Forman : [as Superman, entering with Donna as Wonder Woman] Hey, guys!
Michael Kelso : Oh, no! You've been brainwashed and forced to wear this hideous ring!
Donna Pinciotti : Actually, its a gift.
Steven Hyde : Worst form of gift ever!
[holds his fist out to the side]
Jackie Burkhart : [as the other Wonder Twin] Shape up!
[to Wonder Twin Hyde]
Jackie Burkhart : I hope he kept the receipt.
Eric Forman : Alien zombies are attacking the Earth! Let's swing into action, gang!
Michael Kelso : Hold it, we're still on this ring.
Steven Hyde : Are you sure it's not an alien artifact?
Donna Pinciotti : I got it at the mall!
Reginald "Red" Forman : [Red appears on the video monitor] Greetings, dumbasses!
Eric Forman : Uh-oh! It's Dr. Bald!
Reginald "Red" Forman : My army of alien zombies is invading! Good Lord, that is an *ugly* ring! Alien zombies, get a load of that ring!
Eric Forman : That's it! This thing's coming off!
Steven Hyde : Careful, man! You drop something that big and heavy, it'll throw off the Earth's rotation! We'll all go crashing into the sun!
Michael Kelso : Yeah! Way to use science in a burn!