That '70s Show (TV Series)

Ramble On (2002)

Mila Kunis: Jackie Burkhart

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jackie Burkhart : You're mad at me for telling Donna Eric's secret? I tell secrets, that's who I am!

  Steven Hyde : All I know is, if you're going to be my girlfriend, you can't go shooting off your big, fat, cheerleader mouth!

  Jackie Burkhart : Wait! You just called me your girlfriend!

  Steven Hyde : No, I didn't.

  Jackie Burkhart : Yes, you did!

  Steven Hyde : No, I didn't.

  Jackie Burkhart : Yes, you did!

  Steven Hyde : No, I didn't.

  Jackie Burkhart : Yes, you did! Shut up, you're ruining it!

  [moving to his bed] 

  Jackie Burkhart : Listen, I'll stop telling secrets if you admit I'm your girlfriend.

  Steven Hyde : No! The price is too high!

  Jackie Burkhart : I'm going to tell everyone everything anyway. Starting with, you called me your "girlfriend"!

  Steven Hyde : You're blackmailing me now? You're coming along nicely!

  [they kiss] 

• Eric Forman : How can I lose a 25-pound ring?

  Michael Kelso : I once lost a six-foot, rubber chili dog. I still haven't found it, it's just gone!

  Eric Forman : Hyde, this is all your fault! You told Jackie I didn't like the ring!

  Michael Kelso : Hyde stabbed you in the back? No, he wouldn't do a thing like that. Like he didn't steal Jackie from me. Oh, wait a minute!

  Steven Hyde : [to Eric]  Look, man. I told her not to tell.

  Eric Forman : And I told *you* not to tell!

  Michael Kelso : [to Hyde]  You and Jackie are gossiping now. The more you go out, the more like each other you become!

  Eric Forman : Who knows what you and your little girlfriend are going to be up to in a couple of months!

  Jackie Burkhart : [fantasy cheerleader sequence]  2,4,6,8! Who do we appreciate? Go, team!

  Steven Hyde : 2,4,6,8! Who do we appreciate? Go, team! Jackie, I heard the best piece of gossip! Eric Forman doesn't have any school spirit!

  Jackie Burkhart : I'm telling *everyone*!

  Steven Hyde : Too late! I already did!

  [fantasy sequence ends] 

  Steven Hyde : First of all, Jackie's not my girlfriend, and second of all, I'm not the only one who spills stuff around here.

  Eric Forman : You're right. Hey, Kelso! Hyde watches "Little House on the Prairie"!

  Michael Kelso : [laughing]  "Little House on the Prairie"?

  Steven Hyde : It reminds me of a simpler time.

• [Kelso's superhero fantasy] 

  Michael Kelso : [as Batman]  Okay, Super Pals, I'm gonna need a status report.

  Steven Hyde : [as a Wonder Twin, stops making out with Wonder Twin Jackie]  My sensors indicate peace and quiet throughout the universe.

  Fez : [as Aquaman]  The oceans are secure, but I can't check for another 45 minutes because I just ate.

  Eric Forman : [as Superman, entering with Donna as Wonder Woman]  Hey, guys!

  Michael Kelso : Oh, no! You've been brainwashed and forced to wear this hideous ring!

  Donna Pinciotti : Actually, its a gift.

  Steven Hyde : Worst form of gift ever!

  [holds his fist out to the side] 

  Jackie Burkhart : [as the other Wonder Twin]  Shape up!

  [to Wonder Twin Hyde] 

  Jackie Burkhart : I hope he kept the receipt.

  Eric Forman : Alien zombies are attacking the Earth! Let's swing into action, gang!

  Michael Kelso : Hold it, we're still on this ring.

  Steven Hyde : Are you sure it's not an alien artifact?

  Donna Pinciotti : I got it at the mall!

  Reginald "Red" Forman : [Red appears on the video monitor]  Greetings, dumbasses!

  Eric Forman : Uh-oh! It's Dr. Bald!

  Reginald "Red" Forman : My army of alien zombies is invading! Good Lord, that is an *ugly* ring! Alien zombies, get a load of that ring!

  Eric Forman : That's it! This thing's coming off!

  Steven Hyde : Careful, man! You drop something that big and heavy, it'll throw off the Earth's rotation! We'll all go crashing into the sun!

  Michael Kelso : Yeah! Way to use science in a burn!