That '70s Show (TV Series)
Kelso's Career (2002)
Ashton Kutcher: Michael Kelso
Quotes
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Michael Kelso : [Kelso needs money to buy Jackie a Valentine's Day gift] I am not sellin' blood. There is no way that anything inside of my body's comin' out for cash.
Eric Forman : That's too bad, Kelso, 'cause I hear there's this clinic in Madison that'll pay you for your, um, "manly donations".
Michael Kelso : [confused at first] "Manly donations"? No way! They'll pay you for that? Well, I'll do *that*! I'm good at *that*!
Michael Kelso : [later he comes back, bragging] Easiest money I ever made. They paid me 50 bucks for my "underpants navy".
Steven Hyde : You mean your "corduroy commandos"?
Fez : Yeah, your "team from the inseam"?
Eric Forman : Your "battlepants galactica"?
Eric Forman : [everyone congratulates Eric on a 'good one'] It just came to me. Thank you.
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Michael Kelso : [Donna complains to Kelso about his brother, but his "job" at the sperm bank has made him impatient] Y'know, if you're mad at Casey, why don't you go yell at him? I'm too tired from workin' all day to argue.
Fez : Oh, to be a working stiff.
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Ruth : [Jackie demands that the sperm bank return Kelso's 'donation' to her] I'm sorry, Miss, but I can't give it to you. The donor himself is the only one who has legal rights over the specimen.
Jackie Burkhart : [turns to Kelso] Fine. Michael, you get them. You're the only one who has rights over your special men.
Michael Kelso : Jackie, what do you care what I do with my special men?
Ruth : "Specimen". I said, *specimen*.