That '70s Show (TV Series)

Eric's Naughty No-no (2001)

Mila Kunis: Jackie Burkhart

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Hyde, Jackie and Fez are listening to Kelso] 

  Michael Kelso : Okay, Jackie. There are some things I haven't been honest about that I feel like you should know.

  Jackie Burkhart : [nods]  Okay.

  [Jackie looks at Hyde and Fez] 

  Jackie Burkhart : Why are they here?

  Michael Kelso : Well, Hyde helpfully pointed out that it's not really honesty unless your friends are allowed to watch.

  [Hyde smiles] 

  Michael Kelso : So, anyway, I made a list.

  Steven Hyde : [to Jackie]  The list was my idea.

  Michael Kelso : Thank you for that, Hyde. Okay, so let's just get started. Um, that picture you saw of me in kindergarten? Those weren't puffy pants. It was a big-boy diaper.

  [Hyde and Fez chuckle. Some time later:] 

  Michael Kelso : ...and that time you came out of the shower and you thought you saw a flash? I *did* take your picture. This one time you asked me if you had anything in your teeth and you did, but I said no, 'cause it's funnier that way.

  [Hyde is enjoying. Jackie's expression becomes more and more sour. Some time later:] 

  Michael Kelso : ...when we were about to fool around and I said that I washed my hands? But, really, I just got done playing with, like, six dogs.

  [Jackie looks at Hyde, who barely suppresses his laughter. Fez looks disgusted] 

  Michael Kelso : But, that's not as bad...

  Jackie Burkhart : [sharply]  All right, Michael, stop! Okay, Michael, I think we need to work on *selective* honesty.

  Fez : [disgusted]  Yes, that and basic hygiene. Seriously, good God, man.

  [Fez leaves] 

  Jackie Burkhart : Okay, Michael, unless one of your secrets involves kissing a girl, I don't need to know about it.

  [Jackie walks to the door] 

  Michael Kelso : Okay. All right.

  Michael Kelso : [to Hyde]  Oh, science fact: dogs are cleaner than humans.

  [Kelso and Jackie leave] 

• [Kelso feels bad for watching a porn movie] 

  Michael Kelso : Jackie, you know I love you and you know how much I've changed, right?

  Jackie Burkhart : [smiles]  Yeah?

  [noticing Kelso's guilty expression, Jackie frowns] 

  Jackie Burkhart : Oh, what'd you do?

  Michael Kelso : I went to a stag film. But then it turned out that there weren't any stags at all. It was just naked people having sex. Go ahead and punish me.

  Jackie Burkhart : [pats on Kelso's palm]  No, Michael, I'm not gonna punish you. You were honest with me, and honesty should be rewarded.

  Michael Kelso : [excitedly]  Wow! I'm not in trouble and I get a reward? Is it a cash reward?

  Jackie Burkhart : [chuckles]  No, Michael. The reward is feeling better about yourself.

  Michael Kelso : [disappointed]  Oh.

• Kitty Forman : Why would Eric do that? Is our sex life so boring that he has to sneak around and watch X-Rated flicks?

  Jackie Burkhart : [hugging her]  Oh, Donna. Of course it is!