That '70s Show (TV Series)
Donna's Story (2001)
Ashton Kutcher: Michael Kelso
Quotes
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Jackie Burkhart : [angrily] Michael, Steven just told me that instead of buying me a dress, you spent my 50 dollars on this stupid machine!
[Kelso looks accusingly at Hyde]
Steven Hyde : [to Jackie] Jackie, I did not.
[Hyde looks at Kelso, smiling]
Steven Hyde : [chuckles] Oh, yeah... I did.
Michael Kelso : Jackie, listen. There's an old saying: "You buy a girl a dress, and she looks pretty for one night. But you buy her boyfriend a pinball machine, and she looks pretty for life".
Jackie Burkhart : Okay. Here's another old saying, Michael: "You're dumb as dirt".
Eric Forman : That's true. That was in the yearbook.
Michael Kelso : Okay! Okay! All right. Listen, listen. So, I bought a half stake in this machine, all right? So, that means for every quarter I put into it, I get half back. That's a 50% profit!
Fez : Uh, actually, Kelso, I think that's a 50% loss.
Michael Kelso : Fez, I know it's hard for a foreigner to understand our complicated capitalist system. But we're dealing with quarters here, not frogs or chickens.
Fez : Well, I'm not going to dignify that with a response... because I can't think of one. But, when I do, a good day to you!
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Michael Kelso : All right, guys. It is time to make a withdrawal from the First National Bank of Pinball.
[Kelso opens the machine. There are only two coins inside]
Michael Kelso : Oh, man. No one's playing.
Fez : [taunting] Well, I would've played, but my frogs and chickens wouldn't fit into the slot.
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[Kelso enters the Hub and sees a Space Invaders game instead of the pinball machine]
Michael Kelso : What the hell! Where's my pinball machine?
Fez : [chuckles] Oh, where, indeed? Ohh, I remember. I convinced the owner that pinball was out, and Space Invaders was in.
Michael Kelso : Fez, why would you stab me in the back like that?
Fez : [taunting] Well, rest assured, Kelso, your frogs and chickens comment had nothing to do with it.
[Kelso fails to understand that Fez is being sarcastic]
Michael Kelso : Well, why then?