- Dudley: [Arriving home] Hello brothers dear I'm back with the beer
- [discovers their murdered bodies]
- Dudley: Auuugh!
- [calls the police]
- Dudley: Hello police when I came home and I opened the door there was blood on the ceiling and chopped off hands on the floor!
- [Drinky's severed hand twitches and gives him the finger]
- Dudley: I think the wolf did it, that shifty old tramp, there's blood all over the place, the gore is still damp!, my god there's intestines strung round the lamp!, the address on my house is Pig #3, Jesus Christ there's a severed head on the tv!, be quick, be quick, please hurry here be quick, I think I'm going to be violently sick!
- [vomits and passes out]
- Frankenswine: [after Dudley attempts to kill him] Little pig, little pig stop stabbing my head, you can't kill what is already dead!
- Dudley: [showing the monster a picture of the wolf] This wolf must die, that is my will, I order you to kill,kill,kill,kill,kill!
- Frankenswine: Heh heh, kill, heh heh, I will.
- Crypt Keeper: [to the vampire] Hmm, "Son of Dracula." "Return of the Son of Dracula." "The Son of Dracula's Revenge!" Is that all you can do? Vampire movies! I'm afraid that's not good enough. You'd have to be a bite more versatile to be on the frighting staff of "Tales from the Crypt."
- [the vampire turns into a bat that flies away as the Crypt Keeper notices the viewers]
- Crypt Keeper: Oh, hello creeps! As you can see, we got an opening for a story deaditor. I've been conducting chop interviews all morning. No one seems to get what I'm looking for! Oh well, let's see who's next.
- [pulls a book towards him]
- Crypt Keeper: Interesting, a brother team. Grimm. I think I've heard of them. This has potential boils and ghouls. it's a twisted kind of gorytelling about three scaracters you may recognize... at first. It's called The Third Pig.
- Crypt Keeper: I don't know about you kiddies, but I was glad to see the Wolf hit one out of the pork. Still an hour from now, he'll be hungry again and bacon for more.
- [pans out to show a man tied up on the Crypt Keeper's desk]
- Crypt Keeper: You'll be happy to know creeps that it looks like that opening I told you about has been filled... once we hammer out a few creative stifferences that is.
- [hits the man on the head with a hammer]