- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: [Hooker's gorgeous, bikini-clad neighbor, Claudia, barges into his apartment, necessitating a hasty introduction with Hooker's ACTUAL girlfriend, Lisa] Claudia, this is Lisa Jericho. I told you about her.
- Claudia: Oh, sure - oh, I love your writing Ms. Jericho. It's dramatic, but economic, and your humor has a flavor of Samuel Clemens.
- Lisa Jericho: You remember what happened to the last gentleman who sent me champagne?
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: He took a bath in Dom Perignon, vintage '64, I believe.
- Armando: And the restaurant made the second front page.
- Lisa Jericho: But right now what I need is a bodyguard for lunch. Any offers?
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Yeah. I'll sent up a sandwich.
- Lisa Jericho: And champagne...
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: No, I gotta talk to Armando about the champagne. Goodbye.
- Officer Vince Romano: You said Como's girlfriend was a fashion model?
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Hm-hm. Her name is Linda Wagner. She's doing a bikini layout today.
- Officer Vince Romano: Sounds like something I should handle alone...
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Well, that's very kind of you, junior, but I never lay the tough jobs off on my partner.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: See, I think she's lighting candles in the dark so the... the dirt can be cleaned up. And that's an important service.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: I'm here to talk to you about Lisa Jericho.
- Kevin Mundy: Well, you want the Sun Telegraph building, you missed the sign. This is the New Children's Hospital.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: That's funny.
- Kevin Mundy: [threatening to dump Lisa in cement and make her part of his building under construction] Well, you wanted to know more about my operation. Now you can be apart of it. The public you serve so well, they'll be parading past you for the next hundred years.
- Lisa Jericho: Is there any reason why you wanted to have dinner here?
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: They say when you fall off a horse...
- Lisa Jericho: Yeah, but a horse doesn't try and blow you up and shoot you and bury you in ten feet of cement.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: [Hooker's gorgeous, bikini-clad neighbor, Claudia, barges into his apartment, necessitating a hasty introduction with Hooker's ACTUAL girlfriend, Lisa] Claudia, this is Lisa Jericho. I told you about her.
- Claudia: Oh, sure-- oh, I love your writing Ms. Jericho. It's dramatic, but economic, and your humor has a flavor of Samuel Clemens.