Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (TV Series)
Little Green Men (1995)
Max Grodénchik: Rom
Photos
Quotes
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Quark : What's that disgusting smell?
Nog : I think it's called tobacco. It's a deadly drug. When used frequently, it destroys the internal organs.
Quark : If it's so deadly, then why do they use it?
Nog : It's also highly addictive.
Rom : How do they get their hands on it?
Nog : They buy it in stores.
Quark : [stunned] They buy? If they buy poison they'll buy anything. I think I'm gonna like it here.
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[the Ferengi are in trouble, as their ship keeps accelerating and is about to be ripped apart]
Rom : The kemocite! If we vent plasma from the warp core into the cargo hold, we may be able to start a cascade reaction in the kemocite. Then we can modulate the reaction to create an inversion wave in the warp field and force the ship back into normal space. If I time it just right, I should be able to get us close enough to Earth to make an emergency landing.
Quark : Rom! You're a genius!
Rom : Think so?
Quark : How should I know? I have no idea what you're talking about.
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[Rom reveals that he found out about Quark smuggling kemocite]
Quark : What tipped you off?
Rom : When I engaged the impulse engines, I noticed the ship's weight distribution was a little off. So the last time you went to waste extraction, I snuck back to the cargo bay and took a look around.
Quark : Where did you get to be so smart?
Rom : I've always been smart, brother; I've just lacked self-confidence. Of course... I could forget everything I saw.
Quark : How much?
Rom : Twenty percent of the profits.
Quark : [to Nog] I suppose you'll want a cut too?
Nog : As a Starfleet cadet it's my duty to report any violation of Federation law to my superiors immediately. But then again, I haven't been sworn in yet. I'll take ten percent!
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Nurse Garland : I only hope that one day mankind will travel to the stars and take its place in the vast Alliance of Planets.
Rom : "Federation" of Planets.
Nurse Garland : Excuse me?
Quark : Er... don't pay any attention to him, he's an idiot!
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[last lines]
[Quark's cousin has tried to kill him earlier]
Quark : I'm innocent! I tell you, this is all a misunderstanding. Rom, get me a lawyer!
Rom : I'll contact cousin Gaila. I'm sure he'll know a good one.
Quark : [as he's being dragged away] ROM, YOU IDIOT!
Rom : See you in a few weeks, brother.
[waves after him, smiling]
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Rom : Maybe we are dead.
Quark : What're you talking about?
Rom : Maybe this is the Divine Treasury.
Quark : Oh, don't be ridiculous, the Divine Treasury is made of pure latinum. Besides, where is the Blessed Exchequer? Where are the Celestial Auctioneers? And why aren't we bidding for our new lives, hmm?
Rom : You don't think we're in the other place?
Nog : The Vault of Eternal Destitution?
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[first lines]
Rom : All right everyone, gather around. We're about to start.
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Jeff Carlson : Let me get this straight, Rom; are you saying that all the women on your world walk around naked?
Rom : Uhuh... It's the law.
Jeff Carlson : You don't say.
Nurse Garland : Well, I guess I'm never going to visit your world.
Nurse Garland : [to Carlson] And neither are you!
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Jeff Carlson : We gotta get you out of here.
Rom : Won't you get in trouble for this?
Quark : Why should they? We forced them to help us by using our, erm...
Nurse Garland : Your insidious mind control powers?
Quark : [surprised] That's not bad.
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Rom : [203rd Rule of Acquisition] New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
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Rom : It was an accident! We're from the future! The warp core was sabotaged! It's all Cousin Gaila's fault! I want to go home! I WANT MY MOOGIE!
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Rom : So, if they don't have universal translators, then why are they banging their heads?
