- Lt. Commander Worf: Our gods are dead. Ancient Klingon warriors slew them a millennia ago. They were more trouble than they were worth.
- Major Kira: I don't think I'll ever understand Klingons.
- Chief O'Brien: Don't worry about it, Major. Nobody does. It's the way they like it.
- [Bashir and O'Brien come out of a holosuite, dressed in WW II flying jackets and caps]
- Quark: So, what can I get you two fly-boys?
- Doctor Bashir: Scotch. Neat. And a pint of your finest bitter for my mate.
- Chief O'Brien: [with English accent] And make it quick. The cabbage crates'll be coming back over the briny any minute now.
- Quark: All right, all right! I'd hate to let the Jerries strafe that green and pleasant land of yours, while the two of you were taking time out to get a drink.
- Doctor Bashir: No choice, man. Ritual, you know.
- [they raise their glasses]
- Chief O'Brien: [English accent] To Clive, the best bloke ever to prang his kite into the Channel.
- Doctor Bashir: Ah, gotta keep a stiff upper lip.
- Chief O'Brien: Hear, hear.
- Doctor Bashir: Down the hatch!
- [and both chug their drinks in one gulp]
- Jake Sisko: Dad! You know if we stay with grandpa, he's gonna put me to work in the kitchen.
- Captain Sisko: Is that so bad?
- Jake Sisko: Chopping vegetables for nine hours a day isn't exactly my idea of a vacation.
- Captain Sisko: Jake, you're not a child anymore. Grandpa will not expect you to chop vegetables. He'll want you to wait tables!
- Captain Sisko: You've lost weight.
- Joseph Sisko: You think so?
- Jake Sisko: The doctors said you have to keep your weight up.
- Joseph Sisko: Don't you start too. I've a vat of crayfish in the back that needs cleaning and it's got your name on it.
- Captain Sisko: But you're feeling okay?
- Joseph Sisko: Just point me in the direction of a party and a pretty girl and I'll show you how good I feel!
- Joseph Sisko: Benjamin Lafayette Sisko, what the hell has gotten into your head? You actually thought I was one of them, didn't you?
- Captain Sisko: I don't know. I wasn't sure.
- Joseph Sisko: This business has got you so twisted around, you... you can't think straight. You're seeing shapeshifters everywhere! Maybe you ought to think about something for a minute. If I was a smart shapeshifter, a really good one, the first thing I would do would be to grab some poor soul off the street, absorb every ounce of his blood and let it out on cue whenever someone like you tried to test me. Don't you see? There isn't a test that's been created a smart man can't find his way around.
- Captain Sisko: I hope you don't take this the wrong way, Constable. But there are times I wish you'd never found your people.
- Odo: Believe me, Captain - sometimes, I feel the same way.
- Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: [of the wormhole] It seems to be opening and closing completely at random. No unusual readings, no ships coming through. For all we know, the Bajorans are right, maybe it is a message from the Prophets.
- Captain Sisko: Hm, if it is, they didn't tell *me*.
- Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax: Maybe the Prophets don't recognize you with the new beard.
- Captain Sisko: I was hoping that this would never happen. But it finally has. The Changelings... have reached Earth.
- Chief O'Brien: You probably wouldn't understand this, Quark, but... when you care about a place and it's in trouble and you wanna do something about it, and you can't, it's very frustrating.
- Quark: I know exactly what you mean. When the Great Monetary Collapse hit Ferenginar, I was hundreds of light years away, serving as a ship's cook on a long-haul freighter. I can't tell you the heartbreak I suffered, knowing that rampant inflation and currency devaluation were burning like wildfires through the lush financial foliage of my home! It still depresses me even today. I remembered thinking my accounts needed me, and there was nothing I could do. I-I-I felt so... so helpless! So you see - I do understand.
- Chief O'Brien: Somehow, you telling me that doesn't make me feel the least bit better.
- Joseph Sisko: Ben, at my age, staying healthy is a full time job, and I am too old to work two jobs!
- Jake Sisko: You should be in bed.
- Joseph Sisko: Jake, the only time you should be in bed is if you're sleeping, dying, or making love to a beautiful woman. I'm not tired, I... I'm not dying; and the truth is, I'm too old for beautiful women.
- Captain Sisko: I didn't know you liked Creole food.
- Nog: I don't. I like tube grubs, and your father is the only person on this planet who can get me live ones.
- Joseph Sisko: I've been thinking of adding them to our menu. Of course I'll have to cook them for our Human customers, serve them with a nice remoulade.
- Nog: Cook them? What good are tube grubs if they don't wiggle on the way down?
- Odo: [after being subjected to a test series of phaser sweeps] If you want to do any more tests, you'll have to get another guinea pig. I've been shot quite enough for one day.
- President Jaresh-Inyo: It took centuries for Earth to evolve into the peaceful haven it is today. I would hate to be remembered as the Federation president who destroyed Paradise.
- Odo: You humanoids are all alike, you have no sense of order! And Dax is the most 'humanoid' person I know.
- Odo: I've found that when it comes to doing what's best for you, you humanoids have the distressing habit of doing the exact opposite.
- [Joseph Sisko has refused two Starfleet officers to be blood-tested]
- Joseph Sisko: You take these two vampires and tell them to either sit down and grab a menu or get out of my restaurant!
- Captain Sisko: Jake, get them a menu!
- Head Officer: But sir...
- Captain Sisko: I would recommend the Shrimp Creole.
- Joseph Sisko: [referring to Odo] I have to admit... I'm a little suspicious about anyone who doesn't eat.
- President Jaresh-Inyo: I never sought this job. I was content to simply represent my people on the Federation Council. When they asked me to submit my name for election, I almost said no. Today I wish I had.
- Joseph Sisko: I wish I could, but what you're asking me to do is wrong. You can't go around making people prove they are who they say they are. That's no way to live and I'm not going along with it.