- Quark: [to Odo] You're not exactly the most lovable person in the galaxy. You're not even the most lovable person in this sector... or on the station... or even in this room.
- [Kira and Odo are arguing]
- Major Kira: Now, are we gonna have dinner together or not?
- Odo: And if we do, then what?
- Major Kira: I don't know, maybe we could go dancing.
- Odo: And after that, I suppose you'll expect me to kiss you.
- Major Kira: Well, it's possible.
- Odo: Well then, who needs dinner? Why don't I just get it over with and kiss you right now?
- Major Kira: Well, why don't you?
- [Odo grabs Kira and kisses her long and hard on the mouth]
- Major Kira: [after getting her breath back] You're right - who needs dinner?
- [they kiss again]
- Vic Fontaine: Tell me something - how do you get to Carnegie Hall?
- Odo: I have no idea.
- Vic Fontaine: Practice, practice, practice! Get it?
- Odo: No.
- Odo: [on Kira's suggestion that he enjoy only his work] I do... enjoy my work. But I'm afraid, I've used it as an excuse... to avoid the rest of my life.
- Vic Fontaine: You got about as much personality as an icicle. Cool is one thing, but you're frozen solid.
- Odo: I may be Romeo in the holosuite, but I know the first time I see the real Kira, I'll turn back into Nanook of the North.
- Vic Fontaine: If you're gonna work Vegas in the '60s, you better know the score. Otherwise you're gonna look like a Clyde.
- Major Kira: A Clyde?
- Vic Fontaine: A Harvey, you know?
- Lt. Commander Worf: Harvey?
- Vic Fontaine: A square. You know what a square is, right?
- Chief O'Brien: It's one side of a cube.
- Vic Fontaine: Well, I guess that answers my question.
- Vic Fontaine: [to the Starfleet officers in uniform] By the way, this is a high class joint. That means, coat and ties for the gents, dresses for the ladies. You guys look like a trapeze act.
- Quark: You're up late, Doctor.
- Doctor Bashir: Yeah - can't sleep. Feeling a bit tense, actually.
- Quark: I've got just the thing: one 'Warp Core Breach', coming right up.
- [he prepares the drink]
- Quark: A few sips of this... and you'll be relaxed for the next three days.
- Doctor Bashir: I'm not *that* tense, Quark.
- Odo: This isn't working.
- Vic Fontaine: I thought you two were getting along just fine.
- Odo: Of course we are; you programed her to find me irresistible. I could read her a criminal activities report, she'd think it was poetry.
- Vic Fontaine: It's time to have some fun.
- Odo: What does fun have to do with Major Kira?
- Vic Fontaine: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
- Chief O'Brien: Julian, are you telling me that you discussed your love life with a hologram?
- Doctor Bashir: He's not an ordinary hologram, Miles. He knows about love, life, women!
- Chief O'Brien: Three things you know nothing about?
- Doctor Bashir: Now, that's a little unfair.
- Chief O'Brien: Well, then why are you asking the advice from a 'light bulb'?
- Melissa: Are you classically trained?
- Odo: Oh, actually, er... Vic taught me everything I know.
- Melissa: [to Vic] Is he a good student?
- Vic Fontaine: Head of his class.
- Melissa: [to Odo] Maybe I can help you get your diploma...
- Vic Fontaine: [about Odo] You don't know him as well as you think you do. He's not the same stick in the mud anymore. The cat can swing.
- Major Kira: Are we talking about the same Odo?
- Vic Fontaine: The one and only. But let me tell you, the only chick he wants to swing with is you.
- Vic Fontaine: All right, ladies, the night is young and I have a table waiting for us at the 'Dunes'.
- Ginger: [ecstatic] We're gonna see Shecky! Oh!
- [kisses Vic]
- Melissa: Shecky!
- Odo: Shecky who?
- Melissa: Oh, you didn't tell me he had a sense of humor.
- Ginger: He plays the piano *and* he is funny - kinda like Victor Borge.
- Odo: Who?
- Melissa: I think I'm in love...
- Vic Fontaine: Here in Vegas there's only one way to make sure you don't lose any money: the moment you step off the plane, you walk right into the propellers.
- Vic Fontaine: Thank you, thank you for that kind applause. Keep clapping - there's a fly buzzing the room, and one of you is bound to nail him.
- Vic Fontaine: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special surprise for you tonight. If this babe doesn't raise your temperature, you better check the obituary column because chances are you're in it, pally.
- Vic Fontaine: Do you know how difficult it was for me to get a holographic image of Major Kira? Lucky for you, Julian used her image in one of his spy programs - though it did take me an hour to get rid of the Russian accent.
- Vic Fontaine: I mean, you're standing there like a statue. I mean, the only thing you're going to attract are pigeons.