- Evans: This is a third place show on a fourth place network.
- Dan Rydell: Yeah, but that's all gonna change once I grow a goatee.
- Casey McCall: He's just crazy enough to do it, too.
- Casey McCall: Hey, you wanna get involved with this?
- Dan Rydell: I so don't.
- Casey McCall: You used to care about these things.
- Dan Rydell: Yes.
- Casey McCall: And it wasn't that long ago that you did.
- Dan Rydell: No.
- Casey McCall: I mean, it was, like, yesterday.
- Dan Rydell: Right.
- Casey McCall: Now, when I say "yesterday", I am not speaking metaphorically. I mean, it was yesterday. What happened to your values?
- Dan Rydell: I find that maintaining them is a lot of work. I take a day off every now and then.
- Casey McCall: You take a vacation from doing the right thing?
- Dan Rydell: Yeah. I don't loot storefronts or anything, but once in a while, when I consider the effort it takes to diligently adhere to a moral compass, I take myself out of the lineup and I rest for the next game.
- Casey McCall: I swear, you can run for congress and win.
- Dan Rydell: I'm thinking seriously about doing it.
- Kim: I wouldn't.
- Dan Rydell: I'm thinking seriously about it. What do you think?
- Elliott: I wouldn't.
- Dan Rydell: Guys?
- Chris: No.
- Dave: It's not a good idea.
- Will: I wouldn't do it.
- Dan Rydell: I want this now. This is important to me. I'm an adult and I wanna grow a goatee.
- Evans: This is a third place show on a fourth place network.
- Dan Rydell: Yeah, but that's all gonna change once I grow a goatee.
- Casey McCall: He's just crazy enough to do it too.