Sports Night (TV Series)

Intellectual Property (1998)

Felicity Huffman: Dana Whitaker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dana Whitaker : Okay, Dan, here's the thing. You're gonna be 15 seconds short on the Bucks/Pacers game. I have two options for you. Option one is that the attendance at the game, 11,323, turns out to be exactly the same as the population of...

  Jeremy Goodwin : Hoisington, Kansas.

  Dana Whitaker : Hoisington, Kansas.

  Dan Rydell : And option two?

  Dana Whitaker : Talk slower.

• Dana Whitaker : Do you know what I do when I feel I'm about to lose it a little? I buy a lamp.

  Casey McCall : Well lady, you must have one well lit apartment because you turned a corner somewhere.

• Casey McCall : Listen to me. There is a fly in the studio, and this is not a normal-sized fly. It's a jumbo fly. It has made a habit, now, of flying into my monitors at a great velocity. You would think that at this velocity it would blow apart on impact, but apparently this fly has some sort of protective coating that allows it to come right back at me.

  Isaac : Protective coating?

  Casey McCall : Yes.

  Dana Whitaker : Does the fly have any other special powers?

  Casey McCall : No. Well, Jeremy thinks it might have some sort of stealth capability.

• Dana Whitaker : [to Casey]  KNOCK IT OFF.

  [pauses] 

  Dana Whitaker : You know what I am talking about, and it is not fair to me. It's not good for you. It's not good for me, and it's not good for the show. So knock it off.

• Casey McCall : Look, Dana, you seem to be under the impression that I'm harboring some kind of love for you...

  Dana Whitaker : No! You're under that impression, but I know that it's in your head just like the fly!

  Casey McCall : A: I am not feeling what you think I'm feeling. B: if I were feeling what you think I'm feeling it wouldn't be in my head and C: you have serious feelings for me that only now are you being forced to confront and that will likely send you into a lamp-buying frenzy.

  Dana Whitaker : OKAY! Let's review this, I don't think you quite have this. I have utterly no feelings for you what so ever, you are monumentally interested in me, only are not, 'cause it's all in your head!

  Casey McCall : Like the fly?

  Dana Whitaker : Like the fly!

• Dana Whitaker : You know something, I can't think of the last time I had a good idea.

  Natalie Hurley : This segment's a good idea.

  Dana Whitaker : It's not a really good idea. It's a fine idea. It's a regular idea. You have a lot of good ideas. I find myself saying "Natalie's got a good idea."

  Natalie Hurley : But you also find yourself saying, "Natalie if you screw that up again, I'll set you on fire."

  Dana Whitaker : That's true, too, and yet it's the good idea thing that I'm focusing on.

  Natalie Hurley : Do you like this shot here?

  Dana Whitaker : All I'm looking at is the Pepsi sign.

  Natalie Hurley : Moving on.

  Dana Whitaker : What was the last good idea you had?

  Natalie Hurley : When I got up this morning, I decided not to stick my hand in the blender.

  Dana Whitaker : That's what I mean.

• Natalie Hurley : I think the way that you're handling the Casey Situation is very good.

  Dana Whitaker : The Casey Situation?

  Natalie Hurley : I'm calling it The Casey Situation.

  Dana Whitaker : It's not a situation.

  Natalie Hurley : It's a bit of a situation.

  Dana Whitaker : It's not at all a situation.

  Natalie Hurley : I've already named it!

• Casey McCall : Good night, have a good weekend.

  Dana Whitaker : I will.

  Casey McCall : [mumbles]  I bet you will.

  Dana Whitaker : What was that?

  Casey McCall : I said I bet you will.

  Dana Whitaker : You bet I will.

  Casey McCall : Yeah.

  Dana Whitaker : What does that mean?

  Casey McCall : Well, it means that if someone were to offer money against the possibility of your having a good time this weekend I would take that action.

• Natalie Hurley : Has anybody else noticed that Casey's been flinching a lot tonight?

  Kim : He's been doing it for a couple of nights.

  Dana Whitaker : Flinching?

  Chris : Like a tic.

  Will : It's a flinch.

  Dana Whitaker : Casey, why are you flinching?

  Casey McCall : I'm not flinching.

  Dana Whitaker : Not now, but before.

  Chris : It's like a tic.

  Will : It's a flinch.

  Dana Whitaker : A tic or a flinch, what's going on?

• Casey McCall : There's a fly in the studio.

  Dana Whitaker : A fly?

  Casey McCall : Yes, a big one. It's been in here about 3 days now.

  Dana Whitaker : Dave, there's a fly in the studio?

  Dave : I'm not seeing it.

  Dana Whitaker : Casey says there's a fly.

  Dave : [to Chris]  Is there a fly in our studio?

  Chris : I'm not hearing anything.

  Dave : [to Dana]  There ain't no fly.

  Dana Whitaker : Casey, there's no fly.

  Casey McCall : Dana, there is a fly in the studio the size of a bald eagle. And every time he buzzes my head on a flyby, it sounds like a sound check at a Black Sabbath concert. You're not picking this up?

  Dana Whitaker : Dan, is there a fly in the studio?

  Dan Rydell : Let him work through it.

• Dana Whitaker : Every time your life starts to spin out of control, you come after me. And you make me feel like you feel a certain way when you really don't. You did it in college. You did it in Dallas, you did it in L.A., and you're doing it now. I don't think you're cute. I don't think you're funny, I don't think you're smart and sometimes I don't think you're very nice.

  Casey McCall : [pauses]  You don't think I'm funny?