The Simpsons (TV Series)
The Twisted World of Marge Simpson (1997)
Hank Azaria: Investo the Robot, Royce McCutcheon, Disco Stu, Fleet-A-Pita Chef, Chief Wiggum, Carl, Cletus, Bumblebee Man, Baseball Announcer #2, Lou, Moe Szyslak
Quotes
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Moe Szyslak : [serving a beer] Here you go, Homer.
Homer Simpson : [putting a $50 bill on the bartop] Thanks, Moe.
Moe Szyslak : Ah, Homer, you know your money's no good here. Hey, wait a minute. This is real money!
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Cletus : Give us 300 pretzels.
Marge Simpson : You see? A little persistence and patience paid off. That'll be $300.
Cletus : Hey, I don't think so. I got me 300 coupons.
Marge Simpson : [taking one and grumbling] I should have said "Limit: One per customer."
Cletus : Should've, but didn't, so hand 'em over.
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Helen Lovejoy : I don't understand why they won't unload our falafel fixings.
Lou : Ship's impounded, ma'am.
Chief Wiggum : Yeah. We uh, found a couple of barnacles on the hull. That and, uh, the deck was, uh, wet.
Helen Lovejoy : That's crazy. And what are those men doing under my van?
Chief Wiggum : Look, lady, if I was you, I would just leap into the air as I'm preparing to do.
[the Fleet-A-Pita van explodes]
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Frank Ormand : Hello, I'm Frank Ormand. And if you're watching me, that means you've got pretzel fever, and not the kind that attacked my intestinal lining some years back.
[laughing]
Frank Ormand : So let's get your franchise up and running. Start by setting up an office in your basement or garage. An automatic garage door opener makes you feel like you're working in a futuristic wonderworld. Next, blanket your community with flyers. A phony ticker-tape parade will help you avoid littering laws.
[in said parade, Homer drives down the street with Lisa in the back, wearing a makeshift astronaut helmet]
Chief Wiggum : [wiping a tear from his eye] Welcome back, space girl.
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Marge Simpson : Welcome to Pretzel Wagon. May I take your order?
Lenny : Uh, let's see. I'll have... one, uh...
Carl : Hey, hurry up. I wanna get my pretzel.
Lenny : One pretzel.
Marge Simpson : [he pays and moves on] Thank you.
Carl : Uh, let's see, um... I will have one of your, uh...
Mr. Burns : Come on, come on, while we're young.
Lenny : [honking its horn, the Fleet-A-Pita van pulls up] Wow, check out that van. It looks like it doesn't even need our business.
Carl : Hey, let's go.
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Royce McCutcheon : Well, that's the miracle of the franchise. You get all the equipment and know-how you need, plus a familiar brand name people trust. You'll be on a rocket ride to the moon. And while you're there, would you pick up some of that nice green moon money for me, Royce McCutcheon?
Homer Simpson : No deal, McCutcheon. That moon money is mine.
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Disco Stu : Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continue... aayyy!
Homer Simpson : [he puts his platform shoes up on the tabletop] Uh, your fish are dead.
Disco Stu : Yeah, I know. I can't get them out of there.
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[the family arrives at the franchise fair and are greeted by a robot holding two sacks of cash in either hand who moves left and right constantly blocking the entrance]
Investo the Robot : Greetings, humans. I am Investo the Robot from the Planet Opportuniac. My superior brain advises you to enter the franchise fair.
Marge Simpson : Well, we're trying to; but you're blocking our way.
Investo the Robot : Danger! Danger! Don't forget to pick up pamphlets.
Bart Simpson : I'll handle this.
[Bart removes the lid off a cup of soda he's drinking and pours the liquid all over Investo short-circuiting him in the process; the family walks into the franchise once the robot falls the floor]
Investo the Robot : [distorted] Help, help, help. Security code 30.