- Miranda: I know you're probably busy having mind-blowing sex, but I feel you need to know that your good friend, Miranda Hobbes, has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You'll probably need this information when you check me into the "Betty Crocker Clinic."
- Carrie: How does that work? You go to bed one night, wake up the next morning, and poof - you're a lesbian?
- [mocking Samantha's announcement that she is now a lesbian]
- Miranda Hobbes: Oh, I forgot to tell you - I'm a fire hydrant!