Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Marine Biologist (1994)

Jason Alexander: George Costanza

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  George : The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.

  Jerry : Mammal.

  George : Whatever.

  Kramer : Well, what did you do next?

  George : Well then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him - face to face with the blowhole. I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me, but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction.

  [George dramatically reveals the obstruction to be a golf ball] 

  Kramer : [somewhat embarrassed]  ... What is that, a Titleist?

  [George nods] 

  Kramer : A hole in one, huh?

  Jerry : Well, the crowd most have gone wild!

  George : Oh, yes they did, Jerry - they were all over me. It was like Rocky 1. Diane came up to me, threw her arms around me, and kissed me. We both had tears streaming down our faces. I never saw anyone so beautiful. It was at that moment I decided to tell her I was not a marine biologist!

  Jerry : Wow! What'd she say?

  George : She told me to go to hell, and I took the bus home.

• Kramer : [Kramer bursts into Jerry's apartment; excitedly]  WHO WANTS TO HAVE SOME FUN?

  Kramer : [calmly]  I do.

  George : I do.

  Kramer : Are you just saying you want to have fun, do you REALLY WANT TO HAVE FUN?

  Jerry : I really want to have fun.

  George : I'm just sayin' I wanna have some fun.

• George Costanza : Then of course, with evolution, the octopus lost the nostrils and took on the more familiar look that we know today.

• Jerry Seinfeld : Now, I should tell you that at this point, she's under the impression that you're a...

  George Costanza : a what?

  Jerry Seinfeld : A marine biologist.

  George Costanza : A marine biologist?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Yes.

  George Costanza : Why am I a marine biologist?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I may have mentioned it.

• Jerry Seinfeld : She asked for your number. I think she's gonna get in touch with you.

  George Costanza : I'm telling you right now, if you're kidding around, I'm not gonna be able to be your friend any more.