Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Marine Biologist (1994)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Elaine Benes

Quotes 

• Elaine Benes : [talking with Lippman and Testikow in the limo about "War and Peace"]  Although one wonders if "War and Peace" would have been as highly acclaimed as it was if it was published under its original name "War: What Is It Good For?"

  Lippman : What?

  Elaine Benes : Yes, Mr. Lippman. It was his mistress who insisted he called it "War and Peace." "War - What Is It Good For"

  [singing] 

  Elaine Benes : Absolutely nothin'!

  [speaking to Testikov] 

  Elaine Benes : The song got that line got from Tolstoy.

  Lippman : I'm sorry. It's just her sense of humor.

• Jerry : [after Elaine mentions Tolstoy]  Hey, you know what? I read the most unbelievable thing about Tolstoy the other day. Did you know the original title for "War and Peace" was "War - What Is It Good For?"

  Elaine Benes : Ha, ha.

  Jerry : No, no. I'm not kidding, Elaine. It's true. His mistress didn't like the title and insisted him change it to "War and Peace".

  Elaine Benes : But it's a line from that song.

  Jerry : That's were they got it from.

  Elaine Benes : Really?

  Jerry : I'm not joking.

• Jerry : [opening scene: In Jerry's apartment, Jerry is at the table and Elaine is on the phone]  Elaine, see these t-shirts? Six years I've had this t-shirt. It's my best one. I call it... Golden Boy.

  Elaine Benes : I'm on the phone here.

  Jerry : Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry. Here - touch Golden Boy!

  Elaine Benes : No, thanks.

  [to the phone] 

  Elaine Benes : Yeah, yeah - I'll hold.

  Jerry : But, see - look at the collar. See, it's fraying; Golden Boy is slowly dying. Each wash brings him one step closer. That's what makes the t-shirt such a tragic figure.

  Elaine Benes : Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some Woolite?

  Jerry : No! The reason he's iron man is because he goes out there and plays every game. Wash! Spin! Rinse! Spin! You take that away from him, you break his spirit!

• Elaine Benes : [Closing scene as they leave the restaurant]  Are you in a bad mood?

  Jerry : No, I just got my laundry back.

  Elaine Benes : Ohhh. Golden Boy?

  Jerry : He didn't make it.

  Elaine Benes : I'm sorry.

  Jerry : This is Golden Boy's son, Baby Blue.

  [Elaine rolls her eyes]