Scrubs (TV Series)
My Unicorn (2004)
Donald Faison: Dr. Christopher Turk
Quotes
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Dr. Christopher Turk : Ladies, I think we've learned our lesson.
Jordan Sullivan : That is not helpful, Turkleton!
Dr. Christopher Turk : I was covered in bees!
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [voice-over] Life in a hospital is never boring.
Nurse Carla Espinosa : What the hell are you guys doing?
[J.D. and Turk are shown running in slow motion]
Dr. Christopher Turk : Practicing our slow motion run.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Makes everything seem more dramatic.
Nurse Carla Espinosa : You're doctors. Doctors.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Baby?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Go get her, Turk!
Dr. Christopher Turk : Waaaaaaiiiiit!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh, he's slow.
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Dr. Christopher Turk : I love large groups of white people eating pollen.
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Dr. Elliot Reid : Do you have chocolate cake today?
Male Cafeteria Worker : Nope.
Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh, isn't that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day!
Dr. Christopher Turk : Elliot, relax. I never get chocolate cake.
Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh right, 'cause you're diabetic. Boo-hoo! You know what, Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!
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Dr. Christopher Turk : You created a monster. Elliot did a little tongue dance in Franklyn's ear just to get him to do her labs before mine.
Nurse Carla Espinosa : So she used her femininity! The only reason you usually get your lab work back so fast is because you always pick Franklyn to play basketball even though he always shoots his foul shots granny-style.
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Dr. Elliot Reid : Franklyn, I was wondering if you could put a rush on Mr. Lowenstein's urinaylsis because I've got a really important interview for a fellowship next year.
Franklyn : No. We're done talking now.
[walks away]
Nurse Carla Espinosa : Elliot, we can help.
Dr. Christopher Turk : No! No, you will not turn Elliot into some flirtatious manipulator. I mean, don't get me wrong, outside the hospital, Elliot with her hair up is a slammin' hottie, but in here she's an asexual mess. And that's the natural order of things and you don't mess with the natural order!
Nurse Carla Espinosa : Elliot, don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about.