Quotes
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J.D. : Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! And shut up! Okay? Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do is just bitch about your relationships all day long!
[to Dr. Cox]
J.D. : And you know what? Glare all you want, Big Dog, okay, cause I'm not afraid of you. Oh, no! Jordan's only paying attention to the baby! That must be so hard for Dr. Look-At-Me! Isn't it? Look at me!
[to Turk and Carla]
J.D. : And you two? Come on, you're arguing since you got engaged? Wow, you're probably the first couple that's ever done that, ever! It can't be that you're just scared, is it?
[to Elliot]
J.D. : And you! Y-you know what, let's just - let's just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone. Because, for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is while I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!
[storms out as Laverne comes in]
Nurse Laverne Roberts : Did I miss something good?
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J.D. : I don't think people are meant to be by themselves. That's why if you actually find someone you care about, It's important to let go of the little things. Even if you can't let go all the way. Because nothing sucks more then feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [lying on the floor after crashing into a food cart] Is anybody else a doctor?
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Dr. Perry Cox : Oh, and
[whistles]
Dr. Perry Cox : Lassie! In response to the bestiality rumors circulating about you, I've decided to forgo calling you by the usual girl's name and instead I'm gonna be referring to you by whatever famous dog I can think of. I've gone with "Lassie" because, of course, that satisfies the criteria of being both a girl AND a dog's name, thus helping you ease into the transition.
J.D. : I was just running kissing drills.
Dr. Perry Cox : Ohhh! That's completely normal, then!
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Jamie Moyer : So, how does this whole wing-man thing work?
J.D. : Okay, essentially, you have to think of yourself as chum, okay?
Jamie Moyer : Okay.
J.D. : And your job as chum is to lure attractive women closer to the boat.
[Voice over]
J.D. : Mental note: "The Boat" could be a very cool new nickname.
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Dr. Elliot Reid : J.D., you'd trust me on something that was important to me, right?
J.D. : 'Course.
Dr. Elliot Reid : [to Paul] See? That's what I'm looking for! Huh?
Nurse Paul : Elliot! We're talking about dried meat, here!
[to J.D]
Nurse Paul : Why would you get in the middle of this?
J.D. : I don't know what I was thinking.
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Jamie Moyer : So, "Tasty Coma Wife," huh?
J.D. : Oh, yeah, I'm sorry; I've heard some idiots call you that.
Jamie Moyer : I kinda like it.
J.D. : I thought it up.
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Dr. Bob Kelso : [J.D. comes out of a fantasy of himself making out with a coma patient's wife] How we doin' today?
J.D. : Oh! We're excellent, sir. No one going to hell in here!
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Jamie Moyer : Jack wouldn't want my life to be over.
J.D. : Jack?
Jamie Moyer : My husband.
J.D. : Mr. Moyer.
Jamie Moyer : Call him Jack.
J.D. : I'd rather not.
