Scrubs (TV Series)

My Screwup (2004)

Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Perry Cox : So how come you don't have to get all dressed up?

  Ben Sullivan : I *am* dressed up. Do you see any holes in these pants? No. I'm glad you made it. Listen... there's one more thing you have to do for me.

  Dr. Perry Cox : You can't keep me from getting drunk.

  Ben Sullivan : You have to forgive yourself for everything that went down the other day.

  Dr. Perry Cox : [chuckles]  You are so annoying.

  Ben Sullivan : Yeah...

  Dr. Perry Cox : Okay.

  Ben Sullivan : Good.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Now, where's your camera? Aren't you... aren't you gonna take some pictures?

  J.D. : [walks up]  Pictures of what?

  Dr. Perry Cox : You know, of crying babies covered in chocolate, people singing "Happy Birthday" to my son who have never even met him before... you know, the whole routine!

  J.D. : Where do you think we are?

  [Cox looks around. Ben has disappeared. The camera pans out and reveals they are in a graveyard, at Ben's funeral] 

• Dr. Cox : [to Ben]  Where's your camera? Aren't you gonna to take any pictures?

  J.D. : Pictures of what?

  Dr. Cox : [Turns to J.D]  Ya know, babies crying with cake all over their faces, people singing "Happy Birthday" to my son who they've never even met. The usual.

  J.D. : Where do you think we are?

  [Dr. Cox turns back and sees Ben isn't there] 

  J.D. : [Camera pans as they walk to reveal they are at a funeral. On the casket is a picture of Ben] 

• Jordan Sullivan : The only reason you're invited is that for some reason you own a Spongebob Squarepants costume.

  J.D. : It was a gift!

  [in his head] 

  J.D. : From me to me!

• J.D. : Shower shorts; for the man that has nothing to hide, but still wants to.

• Mr, Taylor : So, should I be worried about the old ticker?

  J.D. : Naw, Mr. Taylor, let me worry about that for you.

  J.D. : [thinking]  OH MY GOD, HE'S GONNA DIE!

• Dr. Christopher Turk : [Turk is about to have surgery to remove his mole]  You guys, I don't want to do this.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Come on. No one's going to call you names.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : I know, but...

  J.D. : FACE!

  [Elliot snickers] 

  J.D. : Butt-face.

  [laughs quietly] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Listen: my butt is fabulous. A slice of that up here,

  [points to his face] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : that's just me spreading the wealth.

• Dr. Elliot Reid : Okay. I have a huge bunion. Sean's coming back in a few weeks. What am I supposed to do?

  J.D. : Well, I think the obvious answer is to draw Sean's face on it and tell him you grew it because you missed him.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Or... it's a simple surgery.

  J.D. : Uh, Turk, I think we already decided on Bunion-face.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : [beat]  Cut me the hell up.

  J.D. : [quietly]  Dammit.