Scrubs (TV Series)

My Old Friend's New Friend (2004)

Ken Jenkins: Dr. Bob Kelso

Quotes 

• Carla : That's what I think of your scooters! No more bugs in my teeth! No more helmet head! No more making deals with God every time a truck passes me on the freeway, okay? It's over! That's it!

  [she storms off] 

  Turk : What the hell just happened?

  Dr. Kelso : You got married, Turkleton.

• Dr. Kelso : Well, sweetheart, you're here early.

  Elliot : Yeah, well, you know I didn't have any plans last night, so I went to bed at 8 and then I woke up at 4. And then I realized that the sunrise just looks beautiful through the trees, and that my neighbor gets his paper in the 'nude' and that he needs to lose like 900 pounds.

  Dr. Kelso : In the future, the appropriate response is, "Yes, I am here early" - it's called 'small talk', not 'my depressing life in thirty seconds'.

  [walks off] 

  Elliot : I am not depressed, sir. In fact, nothing is gonna get me down today!

  Mr. Blass : [singing]  "All by myself. Don't wanna be all by my - "

  Elliot : Oh, shut up!

  Dr. Clock : Did you just tell my patient to shut up? 'Cause that seems not very doctory.

  Elliot : No. I mean, I said it like all those high school girls do in the mall, like, "Oh, shut up!" I should go.

• J.D. : When you get back from surgery we'll play scrabble again and this time I'll beat you.

  Dr. Kelso : Well, of course you'll beat her, son, she's having half her brain removed.