Scrubs (TV Series)

My New Game (2004)

Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian

Quotes 

• J.D. : Hey, uh, you need to move your car - it's my day to have the parking spot

  Elliot : J.D., you have a scooter! Why do you even need a parking spot?

  J.D. : Mmmm, it sends a message.

• J.D. : Well, as you may have heard from the loudspeaker, some residents, the janitor, my mother, your mother, and a coma patient, um, I'm being referred to as the "co-" chief resident. I think we should either both go with "co-chief" or "chief." Don't you... co-agree?

  Lonnie : Excuse me. We're working up this patient for a hypercoagulable state with a prolonged PTT? What's our next step?

  J.D. : Well, that's easy, Lonnie, what you want to do...

  Lonnie : 'd like my answer from the *chief* resident.

• Janitor : What's that? Your new cool guy walk?

  J.D. : Nope, I have rocks in my shoe.

  [empties it] 

  J.D. : Wow, that's a lot of rocks. I gotta stop taking that shortcut through the quarry.

• J.D. : Look, man, it was one second of doubt, okay? Since when do you care what anybody else thinks?

  Turk : I don't. I care what you think.

• J.D. : In a hospital, it's hard not to let your personal life affect your professional life.

• J.D. : So! How you guys gonna celebrate your divorce?

  Turk : By not inviting you!

  J.D. : Oh my God! Dude! I doubted you for a second, why are you so mad?

  Turk : Maybe I needed you to believe in me!

  Carla : I believe in you, baby.

  Turk : Yeah, but we're married - that doesn't count.

• Turk : Look J.D, I've gotta go, I can't be late... I got a new attending-plus, he's a question talker.

  J.D. : What's a question talker?

  The New Attending : Do I want you to be on time, Dr. Turk? Yes I do, Am I going to remember this? Of course I am.

• Turk : Let me buy you lunch.

  J.D. : I'm rich. I'll buy you lunch and some gold teeth to eat it with!

  Turk : You know, you only got one more black joke this month before I bust your ass.

  J.D. : Dammit! I used 'em all up watching "Barbershop 9".

  Turk : Okay, that's it, and I'll get you later.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [after Elliott removes a sign with her fingers that he couldn't with a crowbar]  She has fingers like biceps.