- Dr. Cox: It's time. Sit down. Now, what do you want me to say? That you're great? That you're raising the bar for interns everywhere?
- J.D.: I'm cool with that.
- Dr. Cox: I'm not going to say that. You're okay. You might be better than that someday. But right now, all I see is a guy who's so worried about what everybody else thinks of him that he has no real belief in himself. I mean, did you even wonder why I told you to do your own evaluation?
- J.D.: [flustered] I... I can't think of a safe answer. I just figured...
- Dr. Cox: Clam up! I wanted you to think about yourself... and I mean really think! What are you good at? What do you suck at? And then I wanted you to put it down on paper. And not so I could see it, and not so anybody else could see it, but so that *you* could see it! Because, ultimately, you don't have to answer to me, and you don't have to answer to Kelso, you don't even have to answer to your patients, for God's sake! You only have to answer to one guy, Newbie, and that's you! There, you are evaluated.
- [slides the evaluation form across the table to J.D]
- Dr. Cox: Now get the hell out of my sight. You honest to God get me so angry, I'm afraid I just might hurt myself.
- Dr. Cox: [standing before a room of board members] I would like to make special mention of one intern here: John Dorian. Smart kid, he's extremely competent, and his enthusiasm and his determination to always be better is something I see in him twenty-four hours a day. He cares. He probably cares too much. But he's definitely somebody you don't want to lose.
- Dr. Kelso: Well, if it isn't Dr Turk, friendly face of Sacred Heart.
- Turk: Yeah, Dr Kelso, umm, about these posters... They're kinda making me uncomfortable.
- Dr. Kelso: Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you felt that way. Well here's what we're gonna do... I'm gonna leave them up.
- Turk: I can live with that... Or I can sue you.
- Dr. Kelso: Dr Turk, you are an employee here. I can use your image, your name, I can manufacture tiny Dr Turk action figures that cost $12.95 and when you pull the string it'll say "I don't like these posters of me." Isn't that right, Ted?
- Ted: Oh, definitely, sir. Of course you'd certainly be vulnerable from a legal standpoint.
- Dr. Kelso: How long?
- Ted: Sir, that lawsuit would be over so quickly, I'd advise you to bring cab fare to the courthouse, since Dr Turk would be driving your Beemer home to his place.