Scrubs (TV Series)

My Dirty Secret (2003)

Johnny Kastl: Doug

Quotes 

• Dr. Elliot Reid : I honestly don't mind that you're making fun of me but what does bother me is that no one is ever allowed to make fun of you.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : People can make fun of me.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : [scoffs]  Come on, what about that delivery guy yesterday? I mean, you practically tore him a new binglebore.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : But he's not my friend. My friends can make fun of me whenever they want.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Really? Well in that case you're a know-it-all smartypants and if you're not telling someone what to do, you're probably not talking.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Okay, I guess I can be a little bossy.

  Nurse Laverne Roberts : A little? Girl, please. If you met Jesus hisself, you'd be trying to tell him where to park his donkey.

  J.D. : Oh, are we allowed to do this now? What about that whole like, hands on the hips Carla from the block thing she does when she's mad when she's like

  [imitating] 

  J.D. : "oh Bambi, you do not want to mess with me right now."

  Dr. Doug Murphy : [laughs]  You do sound like that.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : [with her hand on her hip]  Careful, Doug, we are not that close yet.

  Dr. Elliot Reid , J.D. : [laughing and mocking]  Careful, Doug. Doug, wussup. Doug, you better be careful. Mm-hmm. 'Cause I'm Carla.

• Dr. Doug Murphy : Hey, Dr. Kelso, none of my patients have died today.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Really? Mr. Ferguson's corpse begs to differ.

• Dr. Bob Kelso : Dr. Murphy, how about you start us off by describing the medical condition of your patient Mr. Eronson here.

  Dr. Doug Murphy : [smugly]  He's got hypertrophic cardiomyopathy with severe secondary pulmonary hypertension.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : [Kelso picks up Eronson's wrist and lets it drop to the bed]  Wrong. He's dead.