Scrubs (TV Series)

My Dirty Secret (2003)

Donald Faison: Dr. Christopher Turk

Quotes 

• J.D. : [Elliot has just given a patient an orgasm during a pelvic exam] 

  [laughing] 

  J.D. : Elliot come on, I have never heard a woman make sounds like that!

  Dr. Elliot Reid : [grinning]  Oh, I'm sure you haven't.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [Turk starts laughing at him]  See, it's funny because you've never really satisfied a woman!

  J.D. : Well, you might want to double-check with YOUR MOM!

• Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude, I'm dying here.

  J.D. : Turk, it's been like eighteen hours since you had sex.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : I'm saying, this is torture!

  J.D. : So why don't you just, like, "take care of yo'self"?

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Man, you know I don't do that.

  J.D. : You don't?

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Nah, I only did that like twice in my life.

  J.D. : Same here.

  [Voice over] 

  J.D. : If by "in my life" you mean "since I got home".

• J.D. : [J.D. and Turk approach Mr. Randolph's bed]  Mr. Randolph.

  Mr. Randolph : [seeing Turk]  What's he doing here? You know I don't like these people.

  [Turk looks at him, shocked, about to say something] 

  Mr. Randolph : [clearing it up]  Surgeons. Not African-Americans.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Oh!... We're actually saying "black" now, sir.

  Mr. Randolph : [shouting to the hallway]  I was right, Catherine!