Scrubs (TV Series)

My Dirty Secret (2003)

Sarah Chalke: Dr. Elliot Reid

Quotes 

• Dr. Elliot Reid : [leaving a patient's room after giving her an orgasm during a pelvic exam]  Let's go Sean.

  J.D. : Shouldn't you buy her breakfast first?

• Dr. Elliot Reid : I honestly don't mind that you're making fun of me but what does bother me is that no one is ever allowed to make fun of you.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : People can make fun of me.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : [scoffs]  Come on, what about that delivery guy yesterday? I mean, you practically tore him a new binglebore.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : But he's not my friend. My friends can make fun of me whenever they want.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Really? Well in that case you're a know-it-all smartypants and if you're not telling someone what to do, you're probably not talking.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Okay, I guess I can be a little bossy.

  Nurse Laverne Roberts : A little? Girl, please. If you met Jesus hisself, you'd be trying to tell him where to park his donkey.

  J.D. : Oh, are we allowed to do this now? What about that whole like, hands on the hips Carla from the block thing she does when she's mad when she's like

  [imitating] 

  J.D. : "oh Bambi, you do not want to mess with me right now."

  Dr. Doug Murphy : [laughs]  You do sound like that.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : [with her hand on her hip]  Careful, Doug, we are not that close yet.

  Dr. Elliot Reid , J.D. : [laughing and mocking]  Careful, Doug. Doug, wussup. Doug, you better be careful. Mm-hmm. 'Cause I'm Carla.

• J.D. : [Elliot has just given a patient an orgasm during a pelvic exam] 

  [laughing] 

  J.D. : Elliot come on, I have never heard a woman make sounds like that!

  Dr. Elliot Reid : [grinning]  Oh, I'm sure you haven't.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [Turk starts laughing at him]  See, it's funny because you've never really satisfied a woman!

  J.D. : Well, you might want to double-check with YOUR MOM!

• Dr. Elliot Reid : Mr. Murdock was admitted with a COPD exacerbation; he responded well to antibiotics and bronchial dilators but he did develop a rash on his, um... private area.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Sorry, on his what?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : His peepers.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Excuse me?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : His schwing-schwong.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Dr. Reid, it's bad enough you run out on a patient in the middle of a pelvic exam. But you are a doctor, and you need to be able to say simple clinical words like "penis," or "vagina," or "anal."

  Dr. Elliot Reid : "Anal" is not a dirty word, sir.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Tell that to my wife.

• Dr. Elliot Reid : [Elliot is reluctantly strolling towards Sean]  You have a... penis. And I...

  [forcing herself] 

  Dr. Elliot Reid : ... have a vagina!

  Sean Kelly : [gets up]  That is so hot.