- Dr. Perry Cox: Come on, now, Barbie; you keep going down this road, you're gonna go up to the roof of this hospital and jump the hell off. Mind you, it's only five stories high, so that means you'll just wind up back down here, where I, of course, will be the one who has to treat you, and then I'll be forced to jump off the roof of this hospital, which, as I was suggesting to you, is only five stories high, and are you starting to see a pattern forming here?
- Janitor: What's up?
- J.D.: [thinking] Be careful here... Don't give him anything.
- J.D.: Nothing. What. Is. Up. With. You... Man?
- Janitor: I always get this way in the fall, you know - summer's gone, the days are shorter; it just makes me feel so... what's the word...
- J.D.: Sad?
- Janitor: Yes, that's it. I'm a janitor, so I couldn't think of the word "sad". I was gonna say, it makes me feel so "mop."
- J.D.: Let me explain, I -...
- Janitor: Go ahead, I'm "mopping".
- J.D.: Maybe I shouldn't bother.
- Janitor: Maybe you "mopn't".
- J.D.: Look, every time you've screwed up with me, I've totally let you off the hook.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: When have I ever screwed up with you.
- J.D.: [pauses and thinks] OK, never, but we both know that if I ever did, I would give you a break. Now let's see how you like it when I walk away from you
- [Exits right]
- J.D.: [Walks back on screen] Actually, I need to go this way.
- [Exits left]
- J.D.: [Walks back on screen] Right the first time
- [Exits right]
- Dr. Bob Kelso: [approaching to the Nurse Station] So, how are my girls today? Fantastic! Listen...
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Dr Kelso, if you're here to do one of your "How are my girls, today, now let me tell you some things you don't want to hear" routines, I should warn you: I'm in a mood. So it's probably in your best interest to make up some lame excuse, turn around and leave.
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Young lady, I will not be spoken to like that! Luckily for you, I have to go see Miss Fitzstrafoleradonofofadopolis
- [leaves]
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Attaboy...
- Dr. Perry Cox: Barbie, as long as you stay and work at this hospital, I'm always gonna be your superior... That's just the way it goes. Don't get me wrong, you can keep trying to connect with me; I mean, hell, you're... you're so damn entertaining you just might make some headway. But still, you might be better served - and, this is a crazy notion - if you could stop worrying so much about who does and doesn't notice... you. Even for a second. That'd be good; that'd be real good.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: You see, that's what's really bothering me.
- J.D.: What, Turk and Bonnie? They hate each other.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Then why is he doing his "You're so getting a piece of this" dance?
- J.D.: He's not! That's his "In your face" dance... Or it's his "There's a sale on lotion" dance. I dunno; he's got so many dances.