- Elliot: You're unbelievable.
- [Elliot walks away annoyed]
- Janitor: You're the only one around here that treats me like a real person.
- Elliot: What did you just say?
- Janitor: There was one other girl a few years ago, red-haired doctor. She used to eat lunch with me, until the other residents started making fun of her. They called her 'janitor lunch-eater'. Not the most clever group. Anyway, I know that you don't think about me the way I think about you, and I never really believed that you would or that you could. But, just pretending for today somehow made me feel good for a change. I'm sorry.
- Elliot: You know what, it's ok. I actually had a good time.
- Janitor: [Janitor stifles a coy laugh] Thanks.
- [Elliot smiles and walks off scene]
- Janitor: [Janitor to himself] Elliot.
- [Janitor smiles and walks in the opposite direction]
- Dr. Christopher Turk: [J.D. returns from his girlfriend's apartment] Hey hey, here he is! My buddy hit it and quit it, didn't he?
- J.D.: [narrating] Hell no.
- J.D.: Hell yes! Now if you'll excuse me it's time for my nightly ritual.
- J.D.: [narrating] Pleasure myself, weep, and repeat.
- J.D.'s Penis: [to J.D] I will kill you!