Scrubs (TV Series)

My Advice to You (2003)

Sarah Chalke: Dr. Elliot Reid

Quotes 

• Dr. Cox : [Dr. Cox turns off the T.V and the med students "awww" in disappointment]  Fine. I'm gonna go ahead and tell you how it ends: Dr. Phil says,

  [Dr. Phil impression] 

  Dr. Cox : "And how... is that working out... for you?" And the big fat lady cries, "Wah." All right, I'm sure you're wondering why I accepted the position of residency director considering my disdain for, well... all of you. Is it the extra four dollars a week in my paycheck? Or is it the fact that I finally have a chance to make a difference in this God-forsaken hell-hole.

  Elliot : [impressed]  Hm

  Dr. Cox : It's all about the four dollars, trust me. And seeing as my money is contingent on you lemmings actually doing your jobs, I would say that now is a pretty good time for you to scurry on back to work so that I can continue to afford the antidepressants that keep me so damn jolly.

  [laughs weakly] 

  Dr. Cox : GO!

• Elliot : J.D.! You know all those pictures of us from when we were going out? Do you still have those?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [Voice over]  Filed alphabetically in my "Elliot Cabinet".

  [Out loud] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I don't know... I might...

• Dr. Elliot Reid : But, Dr. Cox, earlier today Dr. Kelso was telling us that he wants...

  Dr. Perry Cox : Ugssshhhhh. I don't ever want to hear anything that's come out of that man's mouth; unless, of course, it's "Oh, my God! I'm dying. Now I'm moving towards the light. But wait a minute, there's been a mistake! This is Hell! Hello, Hitler. Hello, Mussolini. Captain Kangaroo? THAT'S weird!" Don't you see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Dolphin TRAINER sex. My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you so interesting. Too bad.

• Dr. Perry Cox : Hey, Barbie. How's about you sashay on over here, push those rock & roll bangs out of your face, and keep those peepers on Miss Bartow's hemodynamics!

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh, first I've got to discharge Mr. Hale, then get a stat CT on Mrs. Peterson, and then, to be perfectly frank, perform a thong extrication on Ms. Reid.

  Doug : Hey, YOUR last name is Reid.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Doug. I have underwear in my butt.