- Mr. Belding: I am fed up with your wisecracks. I'm giving you a month's worth of Saturday detention.
- Zack: Four Saturdays?
- Mr. Belding: Uh-uh, thirty Saturdays.
- Zack: Thirty Saturdays? Sir, can we negotiate? Hey I'll wash your car.
- Mr. Belding: The last time you washed my car, you flooded the inside.
- Zack: Car pool, sir.
- Mr. Belding: I'd like to introduce to you Lieutenant Chet Adams.
- Kelly: [Lisa wolf whistles] Lisa, what are you doing?
- Lisa: I can't help it. He is so hot.
- Lt. Chet Adams: Are you alright, young lady?
- Lisa: Yes, Lieutenant Hot.
- Alan Fairbanks: Why should I join the Cadet Corps?
- Zack: 'Cause the new Army serves cake at every meal.
- Alan Fairbanks: Slice me in!
- Lt. Chet Adams: Good morning, Lisa, Kelly.
- Lisa: How could it be good? Look at the way I am dressed!
- Lt. Chet Adams: Think you look terrific.
- Lisa: I'm beginning to love the Army!
- Lt. Chet Adams: The highlight of every Cadet Corps program is an athletic competition. This helps develop physical skills, teamwork, and it's the Army's way of separating the men from the boys.
- Jessie: Excuse me?
- Lt. Chet Adams: I mean, the persons from the persons.
- Jessie: Thank you.
- Lt. Chet Adams: Now, there'll be a red team and a blue team. Choice of colors alright with you, Miss Spano?
- Jessie: [Smiling] Yes.
- [Straight-faced]
- Jessie: But it's "Ms".
- Lisa: [Hearing Jessie took nine seconds on the monkey bars] Nine seconds? I can't even get to the bottom of my purse in nine seconds.
- Lt. Chet Adams: Way to go, Lisa.
- Lisa: Thank you, Lieutenant. By the way, are you married?
- Lt. Chet Adams: By the way, yes.
- Lisa: By the way, adios.
- Lt. Chet Adams: Since the rope broke, this is the tie-breaking event. The super obstacle course. Each team will choose one man -
- [Looking at Jessie]
- Lt. Chet Adams: I mean, one person, to compete.
- Jessie: Very good, Lieutenant.
- Lt. Chet Adams: I'm trying, Cadet Spano.