- James, the Actor: [while pretending to be a Harvard representive] Ha! A single test, one lucky morning. You think Hhaarrvard is impressed with that academic slice of bologna? No! We're looking for a straight A student,the student council president, the year book editor, and here at Bay dock... view... SIDE! You have a student all rolled into one Jessica Spano the find of the century.
- James, the Actor: [yelling at Zack] Young man, you're not good enough to tie Jessie Spano's shoes! Why don't you go to talk to Ms. Billie goat cheese ham sandwiches?