- Mr. Belding: Alright, let's make this quick. I have a school to run.
- Zack: Well, Mr. Belding, I think you're of one the best, no, *the* best Principal in the history of principalisms. Does everybody agree?
- Jessie, Slater, Kelly, Lisa, Screech: Oh, yeah!
- Mr. Belding: Zack, you're not a matador, so take the bull outside.
- Slater: [Slater is fixing one of the carnival games, sitting above a tank of water and Jessie picks up the balls used to throw at the target] Very tempting.
- Jessie: Ha, don't even think about it. Of course, you're a girl, so it's not like you could hit it anyway.
- [She throws and misses]
- Slater: You know what I like about you, Jessie? You throw just like a girl. Hey, why don't you just hire a man to do it?
- Jessie: [She throws again, hits the target and Slater falls in the water; he resurfaces and Jessie smiles] I hope pigs can swim.
- Screech: [Creating a diversion] Wait!
- Mr. Belding: Not now, Screech, I'm late for an appointment.
- Screech: Mr. Belding, come quick. Someone poisoned the chess team!
- Mr. Belding: It's a sick world.
- Derek Morris: What about that, that, uh, big fishing trip we took, huh? When you, uh, fell right in the lake.
- Zack: I didn't fall in! I jumped in after my retainer fell out.
- [Both laugh]
- Derek Morris: Yeah, somewhere, there's a catfish swimmin' around with perfect teeth.
- Zack: [to the audience] Everybody's excited about the class ski trip. Unfortunately, we don't have any money. Now if I don't come up with something quick, I'm gonna have to sell my parents' house again.
- James: [In French accent] Would you like to hear tonight's specials? To begin with, we have ze French onion soup,
- [in Indian accent]
- James: followed by an Indian curry: is very good, very, very good indeed!
- [In German accent]
- James: Und for dessert, ve have a German chocolate cake. You vill eat it, you vill like it, zere is no choice!