- Mr. Belding: Zack, calm down. Just tell me who's threatening you.
- Zack: Kelly "The Killer" Kapowski.
- Mr. Belding: Kelly Kapowski?
- Zack: Yes.
- Mr. Belding: Excuse me for a minute.
- [turns head to laugh]
- Mr. Belding: [still snickering] What's she gonna do? Spike you to death with a volleyball?
- Zack: Mr. Belding... quick, you gotta help me. My life is being threatened by one of your students.
- Mr. Belding: Just one? You're losing your touch.
- Zack: Alright. Look, I've got nothing against Rhonda Robistelli. But I do have this policy against dating anyone who holds the school shotput record.