- [Jessie & Slater are at war with each other]
- Mr. Belding: I wanna know what's going on right now.
- Jessie: [pointing to Slater] Ask brillo-head, he started it.
- Mr. Belding: Well, Brillo-He - -I mean, Slater...
- Zack: Nicki, I'm in love with your sister.
- Nicki Kapowski: Oh. So you're dressing like this to turn me off then, huh?
- Zack: Yeah. Then you understand?
- Nicki Kapowski: [furiously] Yeah, I understand all right. I understand you're a dork who couldn't tell a 13-year-old girl the truth! That is SO immature!
- [Nicki leaves]
- Kelly: [last lines of the episode, after Nicki leaves, Kelly shows up dressed as a sassy woman, to Zack] Hey, stud-muffin! I saw you with the little girl, and I like your style. How about you and I share a Kodak moment?
- Zack: Oh, I'd love to, but I already got a real good girlfriend, and I'm a one-woman guy.
- [smile at the audience, whispers, and points to Kelly]
- Zack: It's Kelly.