Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Brandon Tartikoff/John Cougar (1983)

Joe Piscopo: Various

Quotes 

• Store clerk : Anything else I can get you?

  Customer : Any stockings?

  Store clerk : Wait a minute, what, are you, nuts? This is a gun store, I mean what would I be doing with a pair of stockings?

  Customer : [pretends to laugh if off]  I don't need a pair of stockings, I need, eh, one stocking.

  Store clerk : [bends over the counter slyly]  What for?

  Store clerk : My sister.

  Customer : One stocking?

  Customer : My half sister.

• Herb Fein : You caught us with our warehouse full of pants down. Yes, down up and half way to Cleveland!

• James Watt : How were we repaid?

  Anne Burford : In unmarked fifties and hundreds.

  James Watt : No... no, no, no, by losing our job!