- Howard Hesseman: When are we gonna start seeing the Belushi jokes on the show? We hear 'em everywhere else, you know? "What's blue and sings alone? Dan Aykroyd." "Do you think Belushi would still be alive if he had said 'No coke, Pepsi?'" What better place to hear these jokes than on this show? But nooooo! Nooooo!
- Mr. Maracondia: [looking at a naked man in a casket] Oh, his poor wife!
- Dolores: Yeah, she's really gonna miss him!
- Saturday Night News Anchor: There's more news tonight, here's some of it: the latest independent research survey shows that President Reagan's popularity has for the first time dropped below zero. It now stands at minus 35. This means, that in addition to all living Americans, 35 per cent of the dead Americans also disapprove of Reagan's policies.