Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Queen Latifah (2004)

Finesse Mitchell: Various

Quotes 

• Finesse Mitchell : [Commentary on Weekend update]  Thank you, Tina. I am here to discuss a growing problem; the problem of parents giving their children stupid names. This is particularly true of young African American girls. I'm speaking on behalf of all the "LaQuaQuas" and "Shediquas" out there. I know that young white girls, especially celebrities, give their children stupid names like "Apple" and "Frances Bean", but these are rich little white girls! They're not ever going to have to worry about applying for a job at Kinkos and being told that Jerkeishawantisha won't fit on the name tag and so they'll have to put "Jerky" on there! Sometimes, these girls even name their children to get back at the "baby daddy". I dated a girl whose mama named her "Condombroke". I couldn't even say her name in church.

• Amy Poehler : Voters in Denmark will soon be able to decide whether to keep a law that allows the government to approve or disapprove names that parents give to their children. With a Weekend update commentary, here is our own Finesse Mitchell.

  Finesse Mitchell : Thank you, Amy. People of Denmark, please, please don't overturn this law. In fact, a law like this could be helpful in this country where we have a real problem with the names our young girls give their children. This is particularly a problem with young African American girls. I'm speaking on behalf of all of the LaQuayquays and Calimaris out there. Now, young white girls will give their children some jacked up names too;ike Rumer, Frances Bean and Apple; but these are rich white children! They would ever have to apply for a job a Kinko's and be told that Jurkeishamalika won't fit on a name tag and so they'll just put 'Jurky' on there. And another thing, I know sometimes these girls are just trying to get back at their baby daddy with these names. I once dated a girl named Condumbusted. I couldn't even say her name in church.