Saturday Night Live (TV Series)
Will Ferrell/Queens of the Stone Age (2005)
Will Ferrell: Self - Host, Alex Trebek, Gene Frenkle, Robert Goulet
Quotes
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Alex Trebek : Dr. Cosby, would you like to pick a category?
Bill Cosby : That's Doctor William H. Cosby, Junior, E.D.D. WHoa!
Alex Trebek : Okay. Would you like to pick a category?
Bill Cosby : No I would not!
Alex Trebek : Okay, Mr. Connery.
Sean Connery : I'll take Jap Anus Relations for 200...
[laughter]
Alex Trebek : [board flashes "JAPAN US RELATIONS", Trebek looks at the board in consternation] I'm sorry, that's Japan U.S. Relations, that's just awful and you know it.
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Alex Trebek : [the category is "The Letter that comes after "B"] The word cat would be found under this letter in the dictionary.
[Sean Connery buzzes in]
Alex Trebek : . Sean Connery?
Sean Connery : I believe you'd find that in the R section.
Alex Trebek : No, not in the "R's".
Sean Connery : Not in the "R's"? That's not what your mother said.
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Sean Connery : Well, well, well, Trebek, fancy seeing you again. It's been a while.
Alex Trebek : Not long enough.
Sean Connery : That's not what your mother said last night.
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Alex Trebek : Mr. Connery, let's see what you wrote.
[the board displays 0+0-0=0]
Alex Trebek : Zero plus zero minus zero equals zero. I think we have a winner, those are numbers, a first grader would know that! I can't believe it! Well, that's all the time we have...
Sean Connery : Oh, uh, don't ya want to see what I wagered, Trebek?
Alex Trebek : Do I? You promise me it's still a number?
Sean Connery : Absolutely. Friend.
Alex Trebek : Sure.
Sean Connery : [0+0-0=0 becomes "POOP,p+0-0=p on board] It is a number! Number 2, Get it?
[Sean Connery starts laughing, eventually dopeslaps Trebek]
Alex Trebek : Okay, that's it, I quit, once and for all, really. Good night.
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[introducing the Double Jeopardy categories]
Alex Trebek : "Japan US Relations." I have no idea what that category is doing up there.
Sean Connery : I had relations this morning, Trebek. Hope we didn't wake you; your mother's a screamer.